Do Not Resusitate

cragmaid

Registered User
Oct 18, 2010
7,936
0
North East England
Babypie, I hope this does not sound hard, I mean it most kindly but I hope the end is quick and painless, because your Dad has had enough and you also need to see his suffering over. Peace be with you and your family and also to all those of us who watch and wait. God Bless.x.
 

HelenInBC

Registered User
Mar 23, 2013
242
0
In Canada, we have something called MOST, which stands for Medical Scope of Treatment. This form outlines the levels of care and the focus of the care you would like your loved one to have. It is broken down into sections, based on the interventions that you would like to be given.

Being a nurse myself, I know first-hand that CPR (chest compressions) on a very elderly person are going to do more harm than good, so that's a big NO for us. After that, we have decided we don't want mechanical ventilation (basic life support to breathe for her if she can't herself)

It gets a bit harder when you think of the next stage, such as: do you want antibiotics to fight off a serious infection like pnuemonia? Pnuemonia is nicknamed the friend of the elderly for a reason. It's often what takes someone who is frail. I'm not sure I'd want to fight off something that could take her more kindly than Alzheimer's disease, you know?

My main focus is that I want my mom to be as comfortable as possible. No feeding tubes, no breathing tubes, no intravenous hydration. If her body cannot sustain itself, then in my opinion it is her time to go. I'm sure it will be more difficult to decide these things when the time comes, but this is how I feel right now.
YES to pain medications and sedatives.
YES to all comfort measures.
 

HelenInBC

Registered User
Mar 23, 2013
242
0
Babypie-- I also just wanted to add that my thoughts are with you at this difficult time. It certainly sounds like your dad knows what he wants. I can imagine how hard it is to watch this happen.

I'm so sorry for your pain :(
 

win

Registered User
Oct 14, 2012
90
0
I thought I would just add a comment to this thread, not really applying to babypie, but to others who may decide on A DNR.

When I signed my husbands I presumed that was it, but apparently if it is not noted on the right form of which you have a copy the paramedics have a duty to do CPR. It should always be kept in the care file or what ever you use for doctors and nurses.

My doctor also explained that in my husbands condition, the doctors themselves would never consider doing CPR but they have to be guided by the next of kin.

DNR only refers to CPR, all other intervention is decided as it happens but can be added to the DNR form. My husbands had "no hospitalizing" written on his.

Hope that may help some one x
 

babypie

Registered User
Feb 29, 2012
209
0
Rubery,Birmingham
Thank you all for your comments...they have really been helpful.
Things have changed dramatically since Sunday...the home rang to say Dad had stopped eating and drinking , when I went in he looked awful and could not mobalise. He was taken into hospital Monday morning and I have just come back from having the "end of life" chat with the doctor.

Dad is unconscious now and I could not begin to describe how ill he looks, gravely ill.

He is non responding and she skirted around the issue and seemed relived when I said I know how ill he is. It has been decided he will have antibiotics for an infection of unknown origin, drip hydration and painkillers. We both decided no feeding tube.

So thats how it is now, I never thought in a million years this would happen only 2 weeks after I was approached about the DNR . She also said if the antibiotics have no effect,as suspected, she will withdraw those too.

I dont think Dad will speak to me again now,the last thing I said was did he want a drink yesterday and he said no thank you. Funny what silly things spring to mind.I am praying for a quick end as to see him now is almost unbearable.

Again thank you all for your time.

Bp x
 

win

Registered User
Oct 14, 2012
90
0
Thank you all for your comments...they have really been helpful.
Things have changed dramatically since Sunday...the home rang to say Dad had stopped eating and drinking , when I went in he looked awful and could not mobalise. He was taken into hospital Monday morning and I have just come back from having the "end of life" chat with the doctor.

Dad is unconscious now and I could not begin to describe how ill he looks, gravely ill.

He is non responding and she skirted around the issue and seemed relived when I said I know how ill he is. It has been decided he will have antibiotics for an infection of unknown origin, drip hydration and painkillers. We both decided no feeding tub

So thats how it is now, I never thought in a million years this would happen only 2 weeks after I was approached about the DNR . She also said if the antibiotics have no effect,as suspected, she will withdraw those too.

I dont think Dad will speak to me again now,the last thing I said was did he want a drink yesterday and he said no thank you. Funny what silly things spring to mind.I am praying for a quick end as to see him now is almost unbearable.

Again thank you all for your time.

Bp x

I am so sorry to read your sad news Babypie, may you find the strength to get through this difficult time ahead of you. Your father is in good hands.
 

Onlyme

Registered User
Apr 5, 2010
4,992
0
UK
Babypie, I hope that your father slips quietly away to be with your Mum and at peace.

My thoughts are with you.
 

di65

Registered User
Feb 28, 2013
786
0
new zealand
I do feel for you Babypie. It is two years tomorrow since my dear old Dad passed away in very similar circumstances. My Mum has passed away six weeks before him, and all he wanted to do was go and join her (they had been married 66 years). He had a DNR in place, and - sadly - on his 94th birthday his pain was so intense he was heavily sedated and I watched him slowly slip away from me for 5 days. I knew that joining Mum was what he wanted to do, but it didn't make the end any better for me.

I hope that you are able to get family support at this sad sad time for you.

<<< HUGS >>>
 

Witzend

Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
4,283
0
SW London
My main focus is that I want my mom to be as comfortable as possible. No feeding tubes, no breathing tubes, no intravenous hydration. If her body cannot sustain itself, then in my opinion it is her time to go. I'm sure it will be more difficult to decide these things when the time comes, but this is how I feel right now.
YES to pain medications and sedatives.
YES to all comfort measures.

That is exactly how we feel about our mother, 96 with advanced AD. Personally I think it would be verging on cruelty to intervene to keep her going now, when her quality of life is so poor and every last shred of dignity has been ripped away. We would all wish she could just drift away peacefully in her sleep but although she looks so very frail she has the general constitution of an ox, and I fear it will not be so easy for her. Most of all I dread any necessity for hospital, e.g. another broken hip, since it would be so terribly distressing for her now. :(