Dear all, I posted a couple of days ago about how I felt my 84-year old mum's life was being prolonged unnecessarily. She has vascular dementia - cannot walk, falls all the time, can't swallow properly, is doubly incontinent, can't talk, is aggressive, doesn't recognise me (her only child) a lot of the time, has constant mini-strokes etc...She had another stroke about 4-5 days ago so things are coming to a head .. and decisions have to be taken .
After (brief) discussions with her remaining relatives (her sister and my cousin), and with the care home person who administers medications, I am writing the following letter to the home. Is it OK ? - ie is this what a 'Do Not Resuscitate' request looks like ?. All advice appreciated. Have put in *** here instead of names for this posting to preserve privacy.
I feel so strongly about this and know my mum would too if she were compos mentis. It is no life - just an undignified existance that needs to come to an end sooner rather than later for everyone's peace of mind (especially mine if I am totally honest). Other family members except one, who is not technically a blood- relative , but who has been wonderful) have not really bothered since she became ill -so I feel the decision is down to me and me alone - which is a terrible responsibility. My dad died 2 years ago - which is a blessing a he would be broken- hearted seeing her in this state - I think this is what he would have wanted as well. I did a DNR for him too but that was verbal and in hospital. Mum's home have just asked me to put it in writing so this is where I need advice please.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
‘DO NOT RESUSCITATE’ ORDER FOR '****Name of my mum**
I am writing regarding my mother, Mrs ****** **** (Dob ****). In the event of a medical emergency/hospitalisation I am requesting that she is not given any medical intervention but rather care to make her comfortable and pain-free.
Please make sure that this directive is in her notes and that the staff at ******, her GP and any paramedics attending her, are aware of this wish.
Thank you for your help and understanding.
Yours,
SARAH C****
After (brief) discussions with her remaining relatives (her sister and my cousin), and with the care home person who administers medications, I am writing the following letter to the home. Is it OK ? - ie is this what a 'Do Not Resuscitate' request looks like ?. All advice appreciated. Have put in *** here instead of names for this posting to preserve privacy.
I feel so strongly about this and know my mum would too if she were compos mentis. It is no life - just an undignified existance that needs to come to an end sooner rather than later for everyone's peace of mind (especially mine if I am totally honest). Other family members except one, who is not technically a blood- relative , but who has been wonderful) have not really bothered since she became ill -so I feel the decision is down to me and me alone - which is a terrible responsibility. My dad died 2 years ago - which is a blessing a he would be broken- hearted seeing her in this state - I think this is what he would have wanted as well. I did a DNR for him too but that was verbal and in hospital. Mum's home have just asked me to put it in writing so this is where I need advice please.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
‘DO NOT RESUSCITATE’ ORDER FOR '****Name of my mum**
I am writing regarding my mother, Mrs ****** **** (Dob ****). In the event of a medical emergency/hospitalisation I am requesting that she is not given any medical intervention but rather care to make her comfortable and pain-free.
Please make sure that this directive is in her notes and that the staff at ******, her GP and any paramedics attending her, are aware of this wish.
Thank you for your help and understanding.
Yours,
SARAH C****
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