We moved Mum into residential care in August last year and it took her over 6 months to settle - she went through every type of mood and behaviour you could imagine and I thought she would never settle and worried that maybe she would never settle anywhere that wasn't home. The care home had always told me that Mum never asked to go home and when Mum was having one of her better days she would ask me 'where does your Dad live' but she never asked where she use to live.
Last week, Mum finally referred to the Care Home as where she lives, promptly followed by 'but I used to live at 'xxxxx' which was the address where she grew up and where her memory seems to have taken her back to.
I was so surprised to hear her refer to the Care Home as where she lives because she has never referred to the Care Home in that way before.
For a moment I felt re-assured, but after a few moments I felt sad that she had no recollection of her life before the Care Home and all she does remember is where she grew up some 70 odd years ago.
It feels like Mum belongs to the Care Home now - they are with her 24 hours a day and probably know more about her now than I ever will - I almost felt alittle jealous that although she recognises me when I go to visit, if I didn't visit would she miss me now she is in the routine of the Care Home with people who know her ever developing likes and dislikes, mood changes - everything that is associated with Dementia - so as I say do I feel happy that she thinks of the Care Home as where she lives, or do I feel sad that somehow I have lost her just a little bit
Last week, Mum finally referred to the Care Home as where she lives, promptly followed by 'but I used to live at 'xxxxx' which was the address where she grew up and where her memory seems to have taken her back to.
I was so surprised to hear her refer to the Care Home as where she lives because she has never referred to the Care Home in that way before.
For a moment I felt re-assured, but after a few moments I felt sad that she had no recollection of her life before the Care Home and all she does remember is where she grew up some 70 odd years ago.
It feels like Mum belongs to the Care Home now - they are with her 24 hours a day and probably know more about her now than I ever will - I almost felt alittle jealous that although she recognises me when I go to visit, if I didn't visit would she miss me now she is in the routine of the Care Home with people who know her ever developing likes and dislikes, mood changes - everything that is associated with Dementia - so as I say do I feel happy that she thinks of the Care Home as where she lives, or do I feel sad that somehow I have lost her just a little bit