I haven’t visited this site for a while, but now that my mother seems to be reaching the last stages of AD, at the nursing home, I thought I’d have a look again.
A few postings here remind me of the circumstances that led to my mother’s route to a home, and I would be interested to hear other people’s views on my experiences.
Firstly, throughout the time I was looking after her at home most of the support I received was ‘bureaucratic’ in nature from a social worker, etc, and later on, a half hour’s help in the mornings from an agency with washing and dressing. I also had four hours off a week with a visitor from Crossroads. However, I believed that what I really needed was advice and support from someone ‘properly’ qualified, and who could also co-ordinate the others in the chain. The social worker mentioned a CPN (Community Psychiatric Nurse) but, despite her efforts, the NHS wouldn’t make one available! It seems to me this refusal is part of the attitude taken by the medical establishment and the state that AD does not qualify as a medical condition and, consequently, the burden of making decisions is placed on the responsible relatives. I believe that this policy is not only short-sighted for being wasteful of social services, (and others) resources, but produces unnecessary stress for the relatives. What do you think?
Secondly (cutting the story short) my mother had to suddenly go into hospital due to an ‘un-diagnosed’ infection. When I arrived at the MAU (Medical Assessment Unit) my mother was in a virtual coma. Whilst I was waiting to see someone, I noticed a group of medical staff arguing in a nearby office. All I could overhear was the remark from one of them, “It is a moral question.” After they broke up, I was called to meet a staff nurse and a consultant. The consultant didn’t make any opening statements, but started by asking me questions such as: What do you think about your mother’s condition (AD related)? Do you realise she is quite old? How long have you been looking after her, etc,etc? Throughout, the conversation was all levelled at me. Anything I asked the response was either with silence or she repeated the question. So, everything I said was thrown back. She offered to show me a CAT scan but, later on, when I reminded her if I could see it she responded with annoyance before letting me do so. I left the hospital feeling angry about what had transpired, and telephoned a solicitor. He advised to wait and see what happens. Soon after, I was informed my mother had been moved from MAU into a ward; and thereafter made a very slow recovery from E.Coli infection (probably from UTI). Since then, she has been in the nursing home.
I don’t believe that the consultant ‘may’ have thought that I didn’t understand the nature of AD, and that it is terminal. I believe that her conduct (and of her accomplice!) was impersonal and unprofessional. I wonder how typical my experience is? What do you think?
A few postings here remind me of the circumstances that led to my mother’s route to a home, and I would be interested to hear other people’s views on my experiences.
Firstly, throughout the time I was looking after her at home most of the support I received was ‘bureaucratic’ in nature from a social worker, etc, and later on, a half hour’s help in the mornings from an agency with washing and dressing. I also had four hours off a week with a visitor from Crossroads. However, I believed that what I really needed was advice and support from someone ‘properly’ qualified, and who could also co-ordinate the others in the chain. The social worker mentioned a CPN (Community Psychiatric Nurse) but, despite her efforts, the NHS wouldn’t make one available! It seems to me this refusal is part of the attitude taken by the medical establishment and the state that AD does not qualify as a medical condition and, consequently, the burden of making decisions is placed on the responsible relatives. I believe that this policy is not only short-sighted for being wasteful of social services, (and others) resources, but produces unnecessary stress for the relatives. What do you think?
Secondly (cutting the story short) my mother had to suddenly go into hospital due to an ‘un-diagnosed’ infection. When I arrived at the MAU (Medical Assessment Unit) my mother was in a virtual coma. Whilst I was waiting to see someone, I noticed a group of medical staff arguing in a nearby office. All I could overhear was the remark from one of them, “It is a moral question.” After they broke up, I was called to meet a staff nurse and a consultant. The consultant didn’t make any opening statements, but started by asking me questions such as: What do you think about your mother’s condition (AD related)? Do you realise she is quite old? How long have you been looking after her, etc,etc? Throughout, the conversation was all levelled at me. Anything I asked the response was either with silence or she repeated the question. So, everything I said was thrown back. She offered to show me a CAT scan but, later on, when I reminded her if I could see it she responded with annoyance before letting me do so. I left the hospital feeling angry about what had transpired, and telephoned a solicitor. He advised to wait and see what happens. Soon after, I was informed my mother had been moved from MAU into a ward; and thereafter made a very slow recovery from E.Coli infection (probably from UTI). Since then, she has been in the nursing home.
I don’t believe that the consultant ‘may’ have thought that I didn’t understand the nature of AD, and that it is terminal. I believe that her conduct (and of her accomplice!) was impersonal and unprofessional. I wonder how typical my experience is? What do you think?
Last edited by a moderator: