Mum 73 has moderate Alzheimers, Dad 77 has cognitive impairment... sometimes I wonder if he has frontal/temporal dementia? According to the clinical nurse that saw him this time last year, he does not have dementia. His head CT scan was in worse shape than Mums Mum & Dad live in their own house behind ours. Anyway, as you can imagine between Mum & Dad I am led a merry dance. Mum has good days and bad days, and has a very short attention span , and forgets from one minute to the next. Dad is doing more and more for Mum, but forgets she has Alzheimers and why she does and says things, or why she forgets things... but then he seems to remember if it suits him?! Sometimes I wonder if he " conveniently forgets"... or is it the cognitive impairment? He lies and covers up things if its to his advantage... he has always been like this though, just worse as he gets older. I can have whole conversations with him about Mum, why she comes to me when shes anxious, or confused... and then when a certain situation arises and Mum comes to see me especially about Dad he gets angry with her for being a blabber mouth. I tell him its because of Mums memory and unable to deal with situations like she used to that she comes to me, but he doesn't get it? It causes arguments. and so we go on and on..... round in circles..... So the gist of my post is, I rang the Memory Team as Dad has another yearly reassessment coming up, and the nurse asked me why I thought Dad had declined. I said I don't know if he is having memory lapses, conveniently forgetting or its looking after Mum which is having an adverse effect.... you cannot get a straight word out of him. Knowing my situation with a small house, no extra rooms, 2 teens and a husband with Neuro deficits from 2 surgeries and treatment for a brain tumour she asks if Mum & Dad are in the best living arrangement and can Mum live with me or with my sister who has a double story house, glass balconies and flights of stairs! Mum is not yet at the stage of qualifying for Residential Care. and Dad gets respite from Mum 3x week for 2-3 hrs and once a week for 4hrs. So what can you do? Nothing! ... the merry go round continues and the Health Professionals never cease to amaze me.