Dnr

[Bha]

Lawson58. Aww i can imagine how awful that was for you and yes you are right, the world is a very different place. My mums mental health was suffering through lockdown. It's only because she was sent to hospital as she couldn't move her leg that Alzeimhers was diagnosed. Mum still misses dad terribly and unfortunately I can't fill that void even though I'm in touch over the phone and video call and she's on my mind day and night. I just don't think I could put my mum through that as she doesn't have her independence, her mobility, she frail now and 80yrs old.

I just want to try and make her time comfortable and make her feel loved. My husband and I have already done poa for ourselves but only for finance. I think as we get older we need to have these discussions with our children. Difficult subject to bring up.

 

[Lawson58]

Lawson58. Aww i can imagine how awful that was for you and yes you are right, the world is a very different place. My mums mental health was suffering through lockdown. It's only because she was sent to hospital as she couldn't move her leg that Alzeimhers was diagnosed. Mum still misses dad terribly and unfortunately I can't fill that void even though I'm in touch over the phone and video call and she's on my mind day and night. I just don't think I could put my mum through that as she doesn't have her independence, her mobility, she frail now and 80yrs old.

I just want to try and make her time comfortable and make her feel loved. My husband and I have already done poa for ourselves but only for finance. I think as we get older we need to have these discussions with our children. Difficult subject to bring up.

And it's so hard to watch a loved one gradually getting worse and feeling helpless to change the final outcome. I think you would find that doctors these days would agree with you that it would be too much for your mum and will do everything to make her time as you would like.

I thought that doing an Advanced Care Directive for myself would be very confronting but the process I went through was gentle and assisted me to really think things through and now I am pleased that my children know exactly what my expectations are. I have made those decisions so that my children won't have to.

It was my husband's cardiac arrest and a conversation with the doctor in the intensive care unit that got me going. My son was taking me home from the hospital and we talked about who would make the decision to turn off life support if it came to that. I reassured him that it wouldn't be him but it made me realize how he would feel if I was the one who was sick and he was faced with that exact situation.

I am simply glad that I have done it.

 

[Bha]

And it's so hard to watch a loved one gradually getting worse and feeling helpless to change the final outcome. I think you would find that doctors these days would agree with you that it would be too much for your mum and will do everything to make her time as you would like.

I thought that doing an Advanced Care Directive for myself would be very confronting but the process I went through was gentle and assisted me to really think things through and now I am pleased that my children know exactly what my expectations are. I have made those decisions so that my children won't have to.

It was my husband's cardiac arrest and a conversation with the doctor in the intensive care unit that got me going. My son was taking me home from the hospital and we talked about who would make the decision to turn off life support if it came to that. I reassured him that it wouldn't be him but it made me realize how he would feel if I was the one who was sick and he was faced with that exact situation.

I am simply glad that I have done it.

 

[Bha]

Ah ok. Yes it does make you think about these things. It's not just about drawing up a Will. It's all the events leading up to it.

 

[lollyc]

Lawson58. Aww i can imagine how awful that was for you and yes you are right, the world is a very different place. My mums mental health was suffering through lockdown. It's only because she was sent to hospital as she couldn't move her leg that Alzeimhers was diagnosed. Mum still misses dad terribly and unfortunately I can't fill that void even though I'm in touch over the phone and video call and she's on my mind day and night. I just don't think I could put my mum through that as she doesn't have her independence, her mobility, she frail now and 80yrs old.

I just want to try and make her time comfortable and make her feel loved. My husband and I have already done poa for ourselves but only for finance. I think as we get older we need to have these discussions with our children. Difficult subject to bring up.

An Advanced Decision allows you to specify in what circumstances you would not want treatment, and you have an option to make a statement as to why you have made that decision. The forms can be downloaded from Compassion in Dying. They are lovely to speak to, if you need to clarify anything.
Mum doing this has given my sister and I the reasurance that we know what she wants, or doesn't want - whatever our own opinions, or those of anyone else.

 

[Bha]

An Advanced Decision allows you to specify in what circumstances you would not want treatment, and you have an option to make a statement as to why you have made that decision. The forms can be downloaded from Compassion in Dying. They are lovely to speak to, if you need to clarify anything.
Mum doing this has given my sister and I the reasurance that we know what she wants, or doesn't want - whatever our own opinions, or those of anyone else.

Ok thank you for that. I'll have a think.x