Mum has been in EMI care since 2010. We signed DNR etc. However when her end of life moment came it didn't help. Got a call from care home August 5 to say she was end of life after a stroke overnight. Flew home, said goodbye, cried, sang hymns, told her to let go we would be OK etc.
However 4 days later she was hanging in there, no food of water for 4 days, no apparent pain, and strong pulse. It seemed like her eyes were more focused and tracking us and grip was still strong.
She had a respiratory infection, and a stoke (no one saw it, no hospital visit to confirm), and my sister and I still hadn't seen GP. GP who declared stroke and end of life was vacation coverage doctor.
So GP comes in on Tuesday, and in the absence of an advanced directive from Mum (of a detailed sort) we all decide to treat respiratory infection and give IV fluids to check if she is fighting back. After 72 hours with care home antibiotic and IV treatment via hospital at home it is decided she is not able to fight back so we are back on end of life again.
It was so difficult to make the decision without Advance Directive, which we would have had to discuss 10 years ago with Mum, prior to dementia
So DNR is all well and good but doesn't cover the half of it, in our experience.
Poor Mum, we are praying for a quick and peaceful passing for her, but her body was strong before this incident so who knows.
Just wanted to share, because this situation was a surprise to sis and I who thought we were so well prepared!
Sue
However 4 days later she was hanging in there, no food of water for 4 days, no apparent pain, and strong pulse. It seemed like her eyes were more focused and tracking us and grip was still strong.
She had a respiratory infection, and a stoke (no one saw it, no hospital visit to confirm), and my sister and I still hadn't seen GP. GP who declared stroke and end of life was vacation coverage doctor.
So GP comes in on Tuesday, and in the absence of an advanced directive from Mum (of a detailed sort) we all decide to treat respiratory infection and give IV fluids to check if she is fighting back. After 72 hours with care home antibiotic and IV treatment via hospital at home it is decided she is not able to fight back so we are back on end of life again.
It was so difficult to make the decision without Advance Directive, which we would have had to discuss 10 years ago with Mum, prior to dementia
So DNR is all well and good but doesn't cover the half of it, in our experience.
Poor Mum, we are praying for a quick and peaceful passing for her, but her body was strong before this incident so who knows.
Just wanted to share, because this situation was a surprise to sis and I who thought we were so well prepared!
Sue