I read the post from Canadian Joanne 2 days ago and it could have been me writing it........... I was going to respond immediatley but was too tired and physically drained, so I decided to write today, and start a new thread because that one belongs to Joanne.
I havent written on here for a while - but in brief my Mother was diagnosed with AD August 2006, and is now living with me, hubby and our little girl, and we have relocated to the North West of England. It is lovely where we are, beautiful house, beautiful countryside, lovely friendly people, husband fell straight into new job, little girl accepted into nursery school without any problems, but Mum is in a totally different league.
We decided as a whole family (my sister & her clan) that it may be best to bring Mum along with us (Sis works full time 2 kids etc & I am at home 1 child) and Mum wasnt capable of looking after herself properly, but she isnt bad enough to go into a home. I used to get phone calls everyday from her weeping and telling me how lonely she was, and how much she hated being on her own. She went to a daycentre twice a week too. She wasnt eating properly or taking care of herself personally. So when we asked her about coming to live with us, she was over the moon.
Anyway now she is here I am beginning to rue the day I first suggested it .............
Its as though she waits until we (me & her) are in the house alone and just wants to pick a fight, annoy, argue, scream and be totally nasty to me. She never does it in front of our friends who we see most weekends or the other Mums at the school and was as nice as anything in front of the Social worker. She has shown this side to my husband though, and we try so hard to keep it away from our little girl whos only four, but now even she tends to keep away from her Nanny because Nanny teases her rotten.
Many occassions Mum tells me she hates it here and wants to go home. She storms around the house crying and if I try to ignore her she says I am being evil. If I answer her back she tells me to stop having a go or to leave her alone. Shes threatened several times to leave the house and never come back, saying she wishes she was dead. I now have to keep the front door locked and hide the keys. I also take her grocery shopping, but that can be a nightmare too now because she has wandered off. But if I were to leave her home alone Id feel so guilty.
I am not well myself at the moment and on medication for depression due to all this and other events (but that another story for another day) and am so frightened that she may push me too far.
I DO KNOW its the damned illness half the time, but I hardly recognise her anymore as that wonderful mother and friend I had. All the love I had for her is slowly being eaten away and replaced with frustration, resentment, dispare and the question WHY WHY WHY.................... I really feel that she hates me, and is trying to destroy my life, my marraige and blames me for ruining her life. When I ask her why she is so nasty to me she justs says the 2 phrases - "Well I am evil arent I" or "why dont you get me locked away" If she is not careful she may get the latter wish.
Anyway if youve got this far reading "Thankyou" and Sorry to have rambled on so much, as I know others are dealing with their own turmoils too, but I feel I may go mad if I dont do something soon.
I havent written on here for a while - but in brief my Mother was diagnosed with AD August 2006, and is now living with me, hubby and our little girl, and we have relocated to the North West of England. It is lovely where we are, beautiful house, beautiful countryside, lovely friendly people, husband fell straight into new job, little girl accepted into nursery school without any problems, but Mum is in a totally different league.
We decided as a whole family (my sister & her clan) that it may be best to bring Mum along with us (Sis works full time 2 kids etc & I am at home 1 child) and Mum wasnt capable of looking after herself properly, but she isnt bad enough to go into a home. I used to get phone calls everyday from her weeping and telling me how lonely she was, and how much she hated being on her own. She went to a daycentre twice a week too. She wasnt eating properly or taking care of herself personally. So when we asked her about coming to live with us, she was over the moon.
Anyway now she is here I am beginning to rue the day I first suggested it .............
Its as though she waits until we (me & her) are in the house alone and just wants to pick a fight, annoy, argue, scream and be totally nasty to me. She never does it in front of our friends who we see most weekends or the other Mums at the school and was as nice as anything in front of the Social worker. She has shown this side to my husband though, and we try so hard to keep it away from our little girl whos only four, but now even she tends to keep away from her Nanny because Nanny teases her rotten.
Many occassions Mum tells me she hates it here and wants to go home. She storms around the house crying and if I try to ignore her she says I am being evil. If I answer her back she tells me to stop having a go or to leave her alone. Shes threatened several times to leave the house and never come back, saying she wishes she was dead. I now have to keep the front door locked and hide the keys. I also take her grocery shopping, but that can be a nightmare too now because she has wandered off. But if I were to leave her home alone Id feel so guilty.
I am not well myself at the moment and on medication for depression due to all this and other events (but that another story for another day) and am so frightened that she may push me too far.
I DO KNOW its the damned illness half the time, but I hardly recognise her anymore as that wonderful mother and friend I had. All the love I had for her is slowly being eaten away and replaced with frustration, resentment, dispare and the question WHY WHY WHY.................... I really feel that she hates me, and is trying to destroy my life, my marraige and blames me for ruining her life. When I ask her why she is so nasty to me she justs says the 2 phrases - "Well I am evil arent I" or "why dont you get me locked away" If she is not careful she may get the latter wish.
Anyway if youve got this far reading "Thankyou" and Sorry to have rambled on so much, as I know others are dealing with their own turmoils too, but I feel I may go mad if I dont do something soon.