Disturbing other residents

[Jazzy]

Hello everyone

My Mum has been at her nursing home for 5 months now and I've been very pleased with the care. When I went on Wednesday evening they wanted to have a word with me. My mother is very loud at times. She shouts, wails, screeches, cries and so on. I know this is all part of this horrible disease. Some of the relatives have complained,commented that she is upsetting the other residents, particularly at meal times. Now I can understand where they are comng from, as when Mum was in hospital she was very loud as well.. But it does hurt!

To give them their due, the staff are very concerned about my Mum's decline over the last 3/4 weeks and are seeking an urgent visit from her consultant and I trust them to sort that out. I hope to be there as well.

What concerns me is that the consultant has never over the past year been able to get her medication balanced so she has periods of calm. I think things are sorted, as things go well for a day or so, then it's back to square one.

Mum is on 6 different drugs - 2 anti psychotics, 2 mood stabilisers and 2 anti-depressants - and the consultant told me himself that he is not happy with this, as it is not good practice. I have no problem with how she is being treated by him.

To describe how she is most of the time I would say she is in torment. She is depressed, agitated, loud, anxious and most of all frightened of anyone and anything. The only time she gets any peace is when she is asleep. I think it's made worse by her sensory impairments - profoundly deaf and loss of all central vison due to macular degeneration. She deos know who I am and when we are able to have any sort of conversation who I'm talking about. But her life is dominated by this awful fear.

What I'm really asking is does anyone else have experience of this sort of behaviour and not being able to get the medication balanced?

I'm trying to be proactive to help Mum and the other residents at the home and have booked an appointment with the assistant matron this evening to see how things can be improved.

I'd be grateful for any comments about similar experiences.

Thanks
Jazzy

 

[Skye]

Dear Jazzy

I'm afraid I can't help with the problem, just wanted you to offer my sympathy. It must be awful for your mum, shut in with this terrible fear, unable to hear or see much. I can only imagine what she is going through.

But I can also see how distressing it can be for other residents.

I do hope you can get some medication sorted out that will have a longer-lasting effect. Hopefully some other members will be able to help.

Love,

 

[Jazzy]

Dear Hazel

Thank you so much for your reply. It's really helpful to know that friends on TP understand. I don't post much, but I do read all the postings on a daily basis. I can usually remain positive and try and be do things to make the situation a bit better. But over the last few days Mum has been in torment.

I was with her when they put her to bed on Wednesday evening and as she lay in bed she was saying over and over again, Oh dear, oh dear... and crying. It only stopped when she fell asleep.

I sometimes think she'd be better sedated, but then other promlems come with that.

Thanks again for posting.

Jazzy

 

[Taffy]

Hello Jazzy, sorry I can not offer you any advice but I can see the pain this is causing you, you are doing your very best trying to seek a solution, and your mum is lucky to have you there for her. Thinking of you, take care. Taffy.

 

[Jazzy]

Dear Taffy

Thank you for your reply. I'm sure it will be possible to improve things a bit for Mum, the other residents and the staff. At least the staff are on board wanting to help.

Thanks again for posting your support.

Jazzy

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Jazzy, if your mother has no hearing, very poor vision and Alzheimers, I`m not surprised she is noisy.

Poor woman has no idea of the noise she`s making or how distressing it is for others.

It is impossible for anyone to imagine her world, she must be terrified.

I do wish her medication could be made more effective, to give her some peace at least.

Your only consolation is your trust in the staff and the consultant to do their best for your mum.

Take care.

Love

 

[Jazzy]

Dear Sylvia

Thank you for your support. You've hit the nail on the head exactly. There is no wonder she is as she is with all her disabilities. I try to imagine what it's like, but it's impossible. I do my best to do little things which might help, but nothing really does. I'm just hoping the medication can be changed for the better.

I could post a long and recent saga about her hearing aid, but won't! It would make me too angry. Suffice to say she is on the waiting list for a visit from the audiologist. If they don't come soon, I'll be chasing that up as well.

Best wishes
Jazzy

 

[lindaj]

Dear Jazzy

I know exactly how you feel your mum sounds just the same as mine and it is very distressing to see, my mum can see very little and is quite deaf and disabled so she is anxious and frightened all the time the home are doing their best for her they let her phone me at times if she is very anxious about certain things. Mum has been in the home 3 months now and I am quite pleased with the care I just wish things could be different.

Linda

 

[Jazzy]

Dear Linda

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. It is appreciated.

Best wishes
Jazzy

 

[Grannie G]

Hi Jazzy.

I hope your mum is used to wearing a hearing aid, long term, and it`s not going to be something new for her.

It has been impossible for me to accept a hearing aid, even a digital one, as everything is far too loud and I just can`t stand it.

Sorry if I`ve got hold of the wrong end of the stick.

Love

 

[Jazzy]

Hi Sylvia

I should have explained myself better about the heaing aid.. Mum has been profoundly deaf for the last 30 years, so is used to the hearing aid. If it is working properly she still has problems and miss hears words.

Last year when she was in a nursing home for 6 weeks they gave her a shower still wearing it! End of hearing aid.

Over the last 3 weeks in her current nursing home there have been a chapter of accidents:
Hearing aid packed up
Sent off to be repaired
Returned un-repairable
I supplied a spare from home
Mould from spare was lost
Mould found
Mould lost again
Home had spare mould and "repaired" hearing aid so she can hear
Went in last week and found Mum weraing aid with no battery it it!

I was very angry with all this, but tried to remain calm.

On the positive side, the staff have been very apologetic - one carer was very annoyed with his colleagues, as it put everyone in a bad light. They have also put procdures in place on how the hearing aid is managed when Mum goes to bed, for example.

They have also organised a spare hearing aid to be sent from Audiology and a home visit to get a new mould. I think in any sphere when you get bad service, it can be how the organisation tries to out things right that counts as well. I am happy that the home has really tried to sort things out, but I'm still terrified in case Mum ends up with no hearing aid that works in the meantime.

Sorry about this moan! I'm off to have tea with her now and hope she is having a quiet moment. Another good point about this home is that relatvies are always welcome at meal times.

Thank you everyone for your support.

Jazzy

 

[Kayla]

When my Mum first went into the Nursing Home, she was very distressed and cried all the time. A cuddly soft toy dog seemed to offer some comfort-I had bought it for her when her real dog died. A soft blanket or a colourful knitted blanket might also help a little. Mum now has a friend in the NH and they sit together to keep each other company.
My Mum is also hard of hearing and has poor vision now.
Kayla

 

[Nell]

Just wanted you to know you have my profound sympathy and I hope for everyone's sake that a medical solution is found ASAP. Thinking of you and sending you my warmest wishes.

 

[SmogTheCat]

My Mum has been at her nursing home for 5 months now and I've been very pleased with the care. When I went on Wednesday evening they wanted to have a word with me. My mother is very loud at times. She shouts, wails, screeches, cries and so on. I know this is all part of this horrible disease.

Hello,
the same has been happening to GrandMother. Since a couple of weeks she is very loud, sometimes she hurt other people and.... this morning she "escaped".
Police find her arount while she was walking on the road. When they understood she wasn't "normal" they called the nursing home asking if they had lost a person.

As soon as we arrived to the nursing home for talking to the doctor, she told me "I went out for ironing. I talked to a lady... ".

She never escaped before... What's we should expect in future?

 

[jenniferpa]

smogthecat: the first thing you need to do is find out exactly how she came to escape! The nursing home should have some method to ensure that people don't wander off: doors that only open with a code etc. I think wandering is a stage that people go through, and once started it will be a while before they stop. I wouldn't place any reliance on your grandmother's poor memory stopping future excursions: although they may not remember what they had for breakfast (or even if they had breakfast) I'm willing to bet that a potential escape route may well be remembered (goodness knows why). I would be even more concerned that they hadn't noticed she'd gone missing.

Jennifer

 

[SmogTheCat]

smogthecat: the first thing you need to do is find out exactly how she came to escape! The nursing home should have some method to ensure that people don't wander off: doors that only open with a code etc.

Unfortunately they have the "no panic" door: door you open pushing the big handle. She learn how to open and... she went out. The main door on the ground floor is alway open as the gate....

Nurses told us she was set on the table having breakfast then... nobody noticed she "disappared"
When the police phoned us they check is someone of the 20 people was missing and they noticed Antonietta wasn't there.
The they phoed us. It was 10 am. So... I'm wondering how long she stayed outside without nobody notice it? I bet they have breakfast around 8am so...

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Smog The Cat,

My mother was always running away from her day care. It as so bad that when we were looking for suitable care homes, many wouldn`t accept her because she was too much of a liability.

Unfortunately the only places deemed suitable were EMI units, secure units for the Elderly Mentally Infirm. I do not know whether this type of unit is available to your Grandmother, but if she is going to keep running away, this is probably what she needs.

Take care

 

[SmogTheCat]

Unfortunately the only places deemed suitable were EMI units, secure units for the Elderly Mentally Infirm.

She is in the "secure unit" of the nursing home. And this is scaring me... I suppose the "secure unit" must be "secure" and people can't open doors and go away...

We are waiting to move her in a nursing home with a specilized "Alzheimer unit". it is near my home and it's less expensive too but... the waiting list is very long. We are in the waiting list since September 2005...

 

[Grannie G]

Dear SmogTheCat,

Oh dear, I`m so sorry, that`s dreadful.

I hope you have let the home know, in no uncertain terms, how ineffective their security measures are, and they have had the sense to review them.

 

[jenniferpa]

Dear Smogthecat

They obviously have a different idea of what "secure" means! Under no circumstances would a door that can be opened simply by pushing a large handle come under my definition of secure, no matter how heavy it was. It sounds a lot like a fire door: even in commerical establishments where those have to be left unlocked for safety reasons, they are very frequently alarmed so that opening them results in a loud blaring alarm so that whoever has gone through them can be checked. I agree with Sylvia that this is totally unacceptable. Is there a body that oversees nursing homes in Italy? In your situation I would be complaining long and hard to anyone who would listen.

Jennifer