1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. CucumberWhisky

    CucumberWhisky Registered User

    Sep 23, 2015
    56
    Surrey
    I'm back again, much sooner than I thought. I'm feeling rather tired at the moment - have been all day - and not thinking very straight.

    I'm meeting the GP next Wednesday to discuss Mum's care plan, having already asked me to think about looking at care homes in the future. Everything has been whirling round my head this evening and I really can't see Mum being in a CH and being happy. To be honest I don't like the idea at all. (Apologies to those who helped with pointing me in the direction of what to look for in a CH).

    What I'm really asking is: what questions should I ask the GP when discussing the care plan? It was done after Mum had her stroke in November 2014 and I can't remember what is in it.

    Any help/ideas very much appreciated. Thank you.

    CW
     
  2. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,624
    USA
    Hi CW, and sorry to hear you are feeling upset/distressed/disoriented at the moment.

    I'm not in the UK and therefore not familiar with the subtleties of your system, but could you not get the GP's surgery to send you a copy of the old care plan, in advance of the appointment next week, so that you can review the old one as a starting point?

    Might anything here be of help for you:

    http://www.nhs.uk/Planners/Yourhealth/Pages/Careplan.aspx

    http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/Pages/care-plans.aspx

    I also wonder if Age UK or the Alzheimer's Association could offer you any advice, suggestions, or guidance about this? I expect someone here will know.

    I won't address the issue of how you feel about a care home for your mother, unless you want to discuss it?
     
  3. Selinacroft

    Selinacroft Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    937
    Hi there
    Try and think of a typical day for your mother and make a note of any help she needs from getting out of bed (if she can) , getting washed and dressed,preparing meals, visiting the bathroom, continence issues, mobility issues-how much assistance does she need?
    What about administering medication-how often, what help does she need, ordering meds, keeping appointments, getting outside, shopping?
    Is she well enough to want social activity? What kind and what help needed to do it/get there?
    How many times a day will she need a carer popping in if you are thinking of alternatives to CH? Does she need help communicating her needs?
    Any special understanding regarding mood, depression, anxiety, anger etc

    Just make some notes and work your way through everything with Dr.
     
  4. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    I should give the surgery a ring and ask them to see a copy of the care plan as the doc wants to discuss it and you can't remember - not surprising!
    Don't feel pressured into anything at all

    Unless you want to go into great detail I wouldn't - ask your GP to lead the discussion. I suspect that he wants to discuss things like DNAR and end of life care plan - not because s/he is suggesting that you are close but just to tie up all the records and make sure that wishes are adhered to so don't panic! or be surprised.

    Tell the GP exactly what you've told us that you are not ready to make the CH decision yet but you are thinking about his advice and will have a look around.

    To be honest it is a really good idea to do just that. I had no intention of putting my Mum in a care home - she really didn't want to go and she was a bit obnoxious so the staff really wouldn't have liked her very much and I didn't want her to miserable so we set up care at home backed up by lots of lunch clubs and day centre stuff and a carer in the morning and an evening and then sometimes at weekends. I also joined our local carers cafe (my lifeline) and from there I got all the local info - which care homes were good, which were absolutely terrible, which day centres to try, which benefits to claim and so on and so on and so on. It was brilliant (and I still go sometimes even though mum died a year ago! although I now look after a couple of other people)
    I also looked at the care homes that people recommended (and some they didn't) just to get a feel of what it was all about. The more you visit, the more you get to know what to expect and what you want. I had absolutely no intention of putting her into a care home (kicking and screaming) but you never know and I didn't want to find myself in an emergency situation with no knowledge. Then.......I put her name down on the waiting list (yes a long waiting list) of the care home I really liked and when her name came to the top they used to phone me and I'd say 'not ready yet' and they would just ask the next person on the list! If there is a really excellent one it is worth asking them if you can do that.

    I don't know if any of that helps but I hope something might - it is a really difficult path but always worth 'being prepared' lol
     
  5. CucumberWhisky

    CucumberWhisky Registered User

    Sep 23, 2015
    56
    Surrey
    Better today

    Thanks, again, Amy. I was feeling a bit low yesterday because I had sinus trouble, but I'm feeling much brighter today -the weekend is coming!

    I won't discuss the care home at the moment if you don't mind. I really need to sort it out with the GP and my brother (who is 200 miles away) before I can put words on the screen.

    Thanks. CW
     
  6. CucumberWhisky

    CucumberWhisky Registered User

    Sep 23, 2015
    56
    Surrey
    Thanks so much Selinacroft. As usual on here people are so helpful. I'll do as you suggest and make a list.

    Best wishes. CW
     
  7. CucumberWhisky

    CucumberWhisky Registered User

    Sep 23, 2015
    56
    Surrey
    Thanks, Fizzie for all the ideas. I think I'll have to take myself off to the local carers café, once I get some further help for Mum. She, too, is not very sociable so I think having agency carers in more often will be the way to go, at least for the time being, unless a CH is imperative.

    CW
     
  8. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    strangely my mum became more sociable than ever at the lunch club - they were so kind and they took her under their wings and it became like a second home to her. I sold it to her on the 'bus trip' every day (and a bit of threat that if she didn't go it would have to be a care home because I couldn't cope lol) - she absolutely loved going on the bus to and from and then from there she started to settle and she was there right up until the end. They were magnificent. So things do turn out for the best sometimes
     
  9. CucumberWhisky

    CucumberWhisky Registered User

    Sep 23, 2015
    56
    Surrey
    Decision made

    I discussed the care plan this morning with the GP and I've decided not to go down the CH route, but will bring in carers as and when necessary. Mum's uti has cleared up with the antibiotics but this afternoon she decided to go back to bed. She's hardly had anything today - toast, coffee at 10, small sandwich/grapes/2 biscuits at lunchtime, and a few walnuts. She didn't want an evening meal and no coffee now. She seems quite bright but is more relaxed in bed. She said she may get up a bit later but we'll see. I must monitor the lack of eating mustn't I?

    Thanks, and best wishes to everyone.

    CW
     
  10. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    Good news that your Mum is feeling better and that you are reassured by the discussion with your GP too. Sometimes my Ma didn't eat too much for a while following a UTI but it is worth keeping an eye on eating. If your doctors surgery is really helpful you could ask the doc to prescribe some Ensure - it's a drink which notches up the calories - i think each one is about 300 calories. We used to ask for a scrip for a mixed tray and then ask the pharmacy for favourites - all sorts of flavours choc, raspberry etc etc or Ensure Plus has more calories and less choice. They have a long 'sell by' date on them so they are easy to store. Worth a try otherwise try tempting treats that bulk up the calories without too much effort - ice cream used to be a favourite or sherry trifle lol
     
  11. CucumberWhisky

    CucumberWhisky Registered User

    Sep 23, 2015
    56
    Surrey
    Cheers, fizzie. Many thanks for the info. Even though Mum went back to bed for the morning today, she did eat a proper dinner this evening. It's a good thing too because I'd made it specially, from fresh, and we can have the other half cold with salad tomorrow!

    Writing this is brilliant. I've got new glasses! Should have bought them at the beginning of December but was waiting my appointment in January in case I could have all the gunge taken away but, alas, there is nothing the medics can do. Ah well, such is life. I've also started reading a book - the first since Christmas.

    Best wishes. CW
     
  12. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    hahaha CW specsavers wins the day!!!! Glad you are enjoying reading a book - my refuge!
     

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