Discharge from hospital!

Violet Jane

Registered User
Aug 23, 2021
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It's best not to keep mentioning the care home to your mother as it is likely to make her more anxious and she might change her mind about going there. Just pack up a few things surreptitiously and take her there. You can always drop some more things off later. If she wants to know why she's going there just say that it's a convalescent home and she's going to stay there to build up her strength after being in hospital. There really is no point in telling her that she will be staying there for ever.
 

SweetPepper

Registered User
Feb 3, 2022
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It's best not to keep mentioning the care home to your mother as it is likely to make her more anxious and she might change her mind about going there. Just pack up a few things surreptitiously and take her there. You can always drop some more things off later. If she wants to know why she's going there just say that it's a convalescent home and she's going to stay there to build up her strength after being in hospital. There really is no point in telling her that she will be staying there for ever.
Thank you yes I understand, I’ve said it’s to help her her get used to not being in hospital and she can try it for a couple of weeks. My plan is to take a couple of days worth of clothes, a book, toiletries, and then go back to her home the next day and stock up.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
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Nottinghamshire
Glad you've got a home sorted. Interesting about the CQC report. I think it is important to be aware of the reports on the home, but I wouldn't dismiss a home out of hand because of it. Likewise I wouldn't think it was the right place because someone else's person with dementia was happy there and they'd given the place a glowing review.
If things look like they are going to go pear shaped between now and Monday is there any chance she could move in earlier?
 

SweetPepper

Registered User
Feb 3, 2022
263
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Glad you've got a home sorted. Interesting about the CQC report. I think it is important to be aware of the reports on the home, but I wouldn't dismiss a home out of hand because of it. Likewise I wouldn't think it was the right place because someone else's person with dementia was happy there and they'd given the place a glowing review.
If things look like they are going to go pear shaped between now and Monday is there any chance she could move in earlier?
Sadly not, the room she’s going into is being redecorated and under the cqc they’re only allowed to take on one new person a week, and this is not her week!

I knew of the home when I previously worked in a GP surgery, I think it will be a good place, and I’m close enough to make plenty of random visits. ?
 

Muttimuggle

Registered User
Dec 28, 2021
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Thanks everyone, I have found her a place in a lovely home just 10/15 minutes from me. The home always had an excellent reputation, failed their CQC spectacularly during Covid (short staffed and agency staff issues) and are now improving but are only allowed to take on one new person per week. It’s very attractive, everything just redecorated, new upholstery etc, in the countryside. I have all my fingers crossed that mum likes it, when I to,d her about it she was very relieved, I think having done nothing for herself in hospital and now having four strange carers in each day is really worrying for her (understandably).

I really appreciate everyone who has taken the time to reply on this thread, I’m just hoping we get through to Monday without any desperate dramas…
That sounds so hopeful. Thanks for reporting that back.
 

SweetPepper

Registered User
Feb 3, 2022
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Sadly not going so well today, this evening she was completely confused and thinks the carers are burglars, she’s refused all food and drink offered today. I pinged her a cottage pie and made her tea (didn’t want it) and squash which she did drink. She is so so confused and frightened and because of the Alzheimer’s of course she cannot grasp my simple explanations. Very difficult, no easy answers, just need to hang in there until Monday I think.
 

SweetPepper

Registered User
Feb 3, 2022
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Guess what? We didn’t get to Monday without a trauma!

The lunchtime carer found her face down in the bathroom, naked on the wet Lino floor. Probably been down for about five hours. No idea why she’d decided to shower (she hasn’t since May). Paramedics were called and have taken her back to hospital, she was less than 48 hours between arriving home and falling. In those 48 hours she has refused to go to bed in case ‘those people’ come back, they are the 4 x carers the urgent care team put in. UCT have admitted that isn’t working, omg I’ve been saying for weeks it won’t work!

Anyway, there’s mother in her way back to hospital, and I am praying they see sense and keep her there until Monday when they can discharge straight to the CH. When an almighty mess.
 

SweetPepper

Registered User
Feb 3, 2022
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Oh @SweetPepper I’m so sorry, though I can’t say I’m surprised. I hope she is OK and can can straight to the home on Monday.

Thank you, and yes tge hospital have confirmed she will stay with them until discharged to the home on Monday. Thankful, but still grumpy that this could have happened at the end of July!
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
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Dorset
It may play out in your favour later if Mum starts saying that “You put me in here, I want to go home” because then you can blame it on the hospital doctors or SS,;)
 

SweetPepper

Registered User
Feb 3, 2022
263
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It may play out in your favour later if Mum starts saying that “You put me in here, I want to go home” because then you can blame it on the hospital doctors or SS,;)
Yes so long as they do t suddenly decide that she has capacity and can go home!

My next job is to check the POA that we can clear her house and rent it out in order to provide an income towards her CH fees. If anyone has any guidance on this I’d love to receive it please.
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
30,075
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Bury
As your mum will be in permanent residential care and have no further need of the house you can rent it out. There should be a formal contract with required safety checks, HMRC will also have to be informed.

Think carefully whether renting out or selling is the best course, even if rented it will be included in any LA financial assessment.

If you decide to sell you should get multiple valuations and inform the OPG of your intentions.
 

SweetPepper

Registered User
Feb 3, 2022
263
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As your mum will be in permanent residential care and have no further need of the house you can rent it out. There should be a formal contract with required safety checks, HMRC will also have to be informed.

Think carefully whether renting out or selling is the best course, even if rented it will be included in any LA financial assessment.

If you decide to sell you should get multiple valuations and inform the OPG of your intentions.
Thank you for the advice, we will rent it for now as it then provides a better income than money in the bank.
 

SweetPepper

Registered User
Feb 3, 2022
263
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I’m having a slight wobble about picking mum up from hospital tomorrow and taking her to the care home. It is definitely the right decision, in fact the only possible decision given that the Urgent Care Team have discharged her from home care- it’s just me feeling a bit weird about it. I’ve labelled all her clothes, packed her suitcase, toiletries, just a couple of photos and a book to get her started. I will stay with her tomorrow whilst I think I’m a help to her, and then visit daily for a couple of days unless advised not to by the home.

It’s a hard place to be, isn’t it?
 

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
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@SweetPepper - it is a hard place to be. It sounds as though you are prepared, which is good. When I took my Mum, I found it best to be practical and try to put emotion to one side, very hard. If there is a point where she is occupied with a member of the CH staff, you may want to slip away, rather than saying goodbye. It is a big change, though a necessary one, and it is no wonder you feel strange about it.
I didn't visit for a few days, to help Mummy settle. When I did go, she was happily gardening, with other residents. Mummy had a couple of good years in her home, where they loved her and she was very well looked after. Far better than we could have done.