1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

Disabled with a husband who has Alzheimer's

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Potts, Jan 7, 2015.

  1. Potts

    Potts Registered User

    Dec 12, 2014
    #1 Potts, Jan 7, 2015
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2015
    First I want to thank all the people who gave me advice. I got in touch with social services & I have had a lot of help from them. Although to day was a very hard & sad day my husband was taken into hospital to have all his tablets reviewed. Everything was getting on top of me & now I am going to get help as well. Hopefully he will be back with me soon & at least we will get the help to see us through to the end.:)
  2. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    I'm sure someone with ms will answer you soon. I have arthritis and walking is difficult, but OH doesn't think so! There is no empathy for me, but that's par for the (dementia) course. However he doesn't hide things, lose them maybe, put them down and forget them maybe.

    Someone will be along do on to give you more definitive answers, I'm sure.
    Good luck!
  3. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    I will bump you up again but don't know anything about your predicament to be of assistance.

    Good wishes.
  4. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    Potts, I'm so very sorry you're disabled. I'm like the others who have said they have arthritis. So do I :(

    Is your GP fully aware of your health circumstances? If not, push it for your own sake, and do include your care responsibilities.

    Wishing you every blessing and hope you are able to make someone in the health service hear you. I don't know anything about MS, although I've heard about it. Do get in touch with your doctor.
  5. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    Hello and welcome to TP.

    Have you and your husband been assessed by the LA to see what your needs are and what help is available for you? You cannot possibly be a carer for your husband and he cannot look after you either, you have to access some help for both of you if you have not already done so.
  6. sistermillicent

    sistermillicent Registered User

    Jan 30, 2009
    I agree with Jaymor above, you are in an impossible position as you won't be able to communicate adequately or consistently with your husband or rely on him unfortunately, even if he wants to care for you it would be extremely difficult.

    So get on to your GP as soon as possible. I wonder if you would be able to both go into assisted living accommodation? I don't know much about this but it's just a thought.
  7. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    Hello Potts welcome to talking point, l have a life long friend who has MS so l know all about it, her husband has been her full time carer for 25yrs he is now 85 she is 77, she now has help with carer's as he can no longer do much for her, he hasn't got dementia so l don't know how your hubby can care for you without help, you must get in touch with Social Services, you both need help, or tell your GP it is too mu h for you. My husband has Alzheimers l am his carer l am fit and healthy but find every day a challenge, he hides things then doesn'remember where he has hidden them, let us know how you get on, also has your hubby been diagnosed with dementia if so you can apply for Attentance Allowance, and reduction on your council tax. ♡♡♡
  8. Potts

    Potts Registered User

    Dec 12, 2014

    Thank you to all the people that answered my questions. We are already living in a warden assisted flat which I can get around when in my wheelchair, but can't pick up things off the floor or low down. Yes, we have carers four times a day to get me up,washed & dressed. My husband has the same, but when they have gone to do other people that's our lot. He's at the point where he doesn't recognise anything. When asked for my glasses he will bring me a shirt for instance. I will talk to my doctor.:)
  9. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    North Somerset
    Am so sorry to read your posts, potts. Can't add more than the other TPers but am hoping you can soon get the help you so obviously need.

    Sent from my GT-N5110
  10. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    Hi Potts, I am extremely new to TP and have just been finding my way around, reading other people's threads.
    I'm so sorry to hear about your incredibly difficult situation, I can't add much to what other people have said. I hope that your GP is able to help. Do you have a Dementia support worker? Mine is very helpful in offering advice.
    It must be very hard to feel helpless when your husband needs help himself, I hope that eventually you can find someone on TP who is in a similar situation and can really understand how things are for you.

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