1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Nutty Nan

    Nutty Nan Registered User

    Nov 2, 2003
    785
    Buckinghamshire
    Does anyone know how to discreetly access disabled toilets (or toilets for the disabled!)? Most of them are locked (why??), and attendants are not usually nearby.
    The other point is, that I would not necessarily want to answer silly questions or even quizzical looks, as we don't use a wheelchair.
    I am aware that my husband is not very confident any longer about using public lavatories (too many doors / bit like a maze, I imagine), and I know from his brother that on one occasion he was seen urinating in the nearest handbasin (thankfully, quite unaware of the scathing comments). When I have to 'spend a penny' myself, I worry that two minutes later, he will not be on the spot where I left him. It would all be so much simpler if we could just 'go' together without much fuss.
    Any tips? - Thanks!
    Carmen
     
  2. Kriss

    Kriss Registered User

    May 20, 2004
    513
    Shropshire
    Its a difficult one isn't it. We found ourselves always going to places where we knew we could access toilets easily. Mum and I would have to take turns to "go" or to hover by the entrance to the gents waiting for Dad and sometimes he was in there for so long our minds were racing away with "what ifs". Its another one of those situations where so much preparation has to go into such a (previously) simple task.

    Sorry - not much use I'm afraid.
    Kriss
     
  3. carol

    carol Registered User

    Jun 24, 2004
    196
    Surrey/Hampshire
    #3 carol, Aug 22, 2004
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2004
    Hello Carmen,

    Just a few weeks ago I looked into this same problem. Our local council has keys for the disabled toilets, they are called RADAR keys. I went to the council, explained the situation that mum in law has AD, I showed the enduring power of attorney to back up my story, I just filled my name in a book and they gave me a key. It was even free, I think some councils charge a few pounds. I was just asked to return the key when it was no longer needed. They gave me an address if I wanted to buy a book that listed all of the disabled toilets in the country. Incidentally the RADAR key fits all disabled toilets.

    Hope this helps.

    Carol
     
  4. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear All,

    I have only just got a key to the disabled toilets for my parents, as well as our blue bade parking permits. Will post this on Resources for everyone.

    Jude
     
  5. Nutty Nan

    Nutty Nan Registered User

    Nov 2, 2003
    785
    Buckinghamshire
    Thanks, Carol and Jude - it sounds so simple, and it will make such a difference!
    Carmen
     
  6. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    It beats the hell out of looking for a loo when the oldies are dying for a wee!

    Jude
     
  7. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    #7 Norman, Aug 23, 2004
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2004
    Keys can be ordered on the RADAR SITE £3.50 with a declaration
    and £4.11 without a declaration.
    2004 guide to all UK disabled toilets is available at £10.00.

    day to day
    Norman

    ps forgot to mention there are 4000 disabled toilets in the UK
     
  8. Nutty Nan

    Nutty Nan Registered User

    Nov 2, 2003
    785
    Buckinghamshire
    Cheers, Norman!
    I wish I had thought of asking sooner ....
    Carmen
     
  9. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Norman,

    Can you post this on Resources too? Many thanks.

    Jude
     
  10. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Yes Mam moved to resources

    Norman
     
  11. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Thanks Norm!

    love from Bossyboots
     
  12. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Jude
    what sort of boots?
    Norman
     
  13. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Norm.

    Don't even TRY and go there, major hazards ahead .....!!!

    Jude xxxx
     
  14. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Key received from RADA almost by return post.
    I was suprised by the size of it,I suppose it's more difficult to lose it.
    Now I won't have to stand outside the ladies wondering "how much longer"and wondering whether there is another way out.
    Another little stress factor removed,I hope.
    Norman
     
  15. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Norrm,

    Yes, the key is HUGE isn't it. Almost like the 'Key to the Exectutive Toilet'. Loo stops must have been quite awkward for you until now - you couldn't exactly go into the Ladies to find out if your wife was having problems and hanging around outside must have been a bit embarrassing too. All a thing of the past now - hurray for that.

    Jude
     
  16. Nutty Nan

    Nutty Nan Registered User

    Nov 2, 2003
    785
    Buckinghamshire
    Same here: collected Radar Key from local council Friday morning, foc. Only had to complete a simple form declaring type of disability and giving contact address.
    No chance of putting it onto my everyday bunch of keys (unless I invest in a weightlifter's belt), but it is worth its weight in gold: tried it out on Friday afternoon. Such a simple, stress-free 'operation', both of us re-appeared relaxed and smiling, hands washed, all buttons and zips done up and in charge of belts, bags and coats.
    As I said before - why didn't i think of it earlier?!
    Cheers - Carmen
     
  17. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    We are away next week and I am looking forward to using THE KEY.
    No more loitering outside ladies toilets,no more lost sun glasses,no more queues,no funny looks when I'm standing holding a handbag!
    Another little victory
    all the best
    Norman
     
  18. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Norm,

    Yeah, and no more members of the public ringing the cops about you either...!!

    Our carer, Glyn, who is about 6ft 4inches tall and wide, was having quite a few problems taking the oldies out alone. Mum would disappear into the Ladies and never come out again because she needs somebody to tell her to actually get off the loo. Poor Glyn was having to ask women to go in and find her, whilst he and Dad lurked around outside the door. They got some very strange looks, but fortunately the ladies were all very helpful when they understood that Glyn wasn't a peeping tom or trying to grab their handbags.

    So no more dramas! A big relief in more ways than one.

    Let's hope there are loads of disabled loos in Weston.

    Jude
     
  19. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Jude
    there are loads of disabled toilets in Weston AND I KNOW WHERE THEY ARE.
    bye
    Norman
     
  20. egg

    egg Registered User

    Jul 31, 2004
    36
    Birmingham
    weston

    Enjoy weston Norman - toilets and all.

    I was brought up in Bristol and we had frqent trips to weston - lots to recommend it and i still pop down there when i go to see my mum in Bristol.

    have a lovely holiday

    egg
     

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