I was in a similar position to you and pamann 18 months ago and the decision was taken out of my hands. I thought I would feel relief, but instead I felt numb, guilty and very very sad and depressed. Good job my lovely dog kept me going.
Now, after a struggle to get him out of a bad home, he is now in a lovely home, and I am able to spend quality time with him and take him out as well. I even had him home one day before Christmas so he could meet up with his son and grandchildren in our own house, which was lovely. I had no problem taking him back, as he kept on saying he wanted to go home when everyone had gone - home is somewhere in his head now - not any geographical place.
He is still aggressive regarding personal care, and if anyone tries to take things he has collected away from him, but medication is calming that down a bit. The rest of the time he is walking about "doing work" (he thinks he built the home and that I live there too) and he is the lovely charming man he used to be - until the going home syndrome startsbut I dont let that upset me too much now, as I know it isnt our home that he is talking about, and also he says lots of times how nice it is where he is.
So it will get better - try and enjoy your time with your grandchildren and with him when you eventually get to see him and I hope he settles and that you both have a happier and more settled new year xxx
Thank you Tiger lady and a happy New year to you too xxx
