Hi all after a long gap I wonder if anyone can help me make a decision. Last time I was on the forum I thought I had cracked it as far as coping with my wife’s AD. A combination of daycentre visits and the as required visit of a carer and I had got a life back after some 2/3 years of caring. Things were going so well I had the idea to take a weeks respite leaving my wife in the care home attached to the day centre. Then it all went pear shaped and 3 days into my holiday, I receive a phone call from the home that she had been taken to hospital with a suspected stroke. To cut a long story short it turned out to not be a stroke and they could find nothing wrong. By the time I managed to get her out of hospital and with the help of the social services team at the hospital, I reluctantly agreed to get her into a home with nursing care because she was no longer mobile, had lost weight and had pressure sores. All that is now behind us and she is back on her feet albeit with assistance. That being said she cannot express herself, needs feeding and being in a home is incontinent by default ie is padded up as the easiest solution. In other respects the home and its staff is excellent and I have no complaints. The dilemma I now have is that with her now being mobile should I bring her home as the kit I have at home will cope with her current condition (with home carers help as required) or leave her and do what I do now which is to visit her about 4 hours a day (like now) and usually give her her supper? The big problem I have is that every time I leave her I feel I am deserting her and feel dreadful with a sense of guilt. I sense also that she knows I am going and looks very down and that makes it worse. The perceived wisdom from friends, family and social services (who I have to say have been very good) is to leave her in the home and to look after myself. Sensible advice I suppose but it ignores the fact that it is the first time we have been separated for 42 years and it is an incredibly lonely feeling. On the practical side she has deteriorated slightly after all the recent problems and will undoubtedly get worse. Any views from forum members who have been in a similar position would be helpful.