So sorry to read all the difficulties and heart ache everyone is going through.
@Jan L prior to my husband permanently going into a care home, my friends persuaded me that I needed a break and I put him in a home for respite. I had to go and collect him after a couple of days as he was so agitated. I too was shocked to see him. He was 68 and looked 90. The whole experience was dreadful. I felt such guilt for putting him through that.
I feel huge sadness now that he’s permanently in a home, and some guilt, but not as I did when he went into respite. The difference is that in the end I had no choice as I couldn’t keep him safe anymore, and my health was really suffering.
Guilt has been replaced by worry that he is OK as I’ve no real way of knowing due to COVID restrictions. I find I can’t relax, he’s always in the back of my mind. Not having any control over the situation has completely knocked my confidence. I now understand why people who are dependent on the state for one reason and another feel so helpless.
@Pusskins clearly COVID has not been virulent in NZ, maybe you‘re not aware of how deadly it is.161,000 have died so far, and many more have been hospitalized In GB. 14 died in the care home that my husband is now in. This wasn’t due to neglect or inappropriate care/nursing. The number of cases is rising again in Britain, but because a good number have been vaccinated the virus isn’t taking anything like as many lives. My understanding is that the vaccines don’t alter genes. I do hope you continue to stay safe.
@Thethirdmrsc, my husband is in a care home for people with mental health issues. I’m very pleased so far as it’s the first time he’s been with staff that seem to understand how to manage his behaviour. They seem very kind, tolerant and patient.And at the moment haven’t resorted to over medication. I hope their assessment helps your husband to get appropriate support.