Difficulty with carer

FiveHeads

Registered User
Dec 12, 2016
3
My Mother has taken a dislike to one of her carers - one of her daughter-in-laws - who's help we badly need in caring for Mother. Mother is making up all sorts of stories about her and doesn't want to be with her at all and makes it very obvious! Does anybody have any thoughts how to handle this? the easy option is to say OK, we'll leave the daughter-in-law out, but that will just put a lot of extra pressure on others.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
3,801
Nottinghamshire
I'm afraid once someone with dementia has taken a dislike to someone it's not likely to change unless you take that person out of the firing line. I had the same problem with my dad who took a dislike to my daughter and told all kinds of lies about her and accusations to her.

It must be very distressing for her DIL to be treated like this but also for your mum as she believes what she is saying is the truth.

Could this DIL do her caring from a distance for a while. E.g shopping or other tasks which don't require direct contact.
 

deepetshopboy

Registered User
Jul 7, 2008
238
My dads like that with a family member he doesn’t see said family member much and i need all the help i can get but thank goodness it’s normally just for a day as they live far away adhoc
He really dislikes the person sometimes but says so when there gone ive thought about making a excuse as towhy they should not come with out offending them it’s really difficult