Hi My father-in-law has dementia. My husband is his only child but he still has a stepdaughter. it is only me and my husband staying in the same town as my father in law. it is a long story but my husband never grew up with his father in the same house. they never had a good father and son relationship and now his father has dementia. my father in law was a very influential and dynamic man and is known by many people. my husband always saw his father as his hero although he was always on the outside of his father's life. it is very difficult for my husband to handle knowing his father has dementia and it is too late to sort out all the hurt of the past. we try our best but my father-in-law sort of pushes us away and does not want us to help him. how do we handle this and how do we handle the past that cannot be sorted anymore? he has a lady friend and it seems that she is the only one that he trust and she is the only one that he will accept help from. he does not want anybody to stay with him and he does not want to stay with anybody else. he says he wants to stay in his own house and on his own until the day he dies. he is 87 years old. he does not want me to prepare him food and he will come once or twice to have dinner at my house and then he tells me he can look after himself. he still goes to his business everyday....... nothing is going on there and he and this lady friend (she is 85 year and still working for him) only sits there and drink coffee the whole day. he is still driving but has no licence anymore (expired) and is a danger on the road to himself and other people. we don't know how to tell him that he cannot drive anymore. he is so stubborn and we do not know anymore what to do.