difficult time

[Grannie G]

You let it out Lyn. Who else can you tell.

I do hope Dave will be moved to the home soon. It sounds as if you have everything ready for him.

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Oh gosh Lyn, I'm sorry to read about Dave's care and all that you have been going through. I'm glad you will be lodging a complaint. They deserve it, by the sounds of things.
I'm so sorry you have hurt your neck.. that is all you need, but easily done if wheeling a chair in unusual circumstances or without a power pack. I once wheeled someone up the long winding spiral staircase built to get people in wheelchairs to the top floor of a conference centre and I ended up with bad back pain. It never occurred to me that the person in the wheelchair would be a dead weight going uphill.

I hope that things improve for Dave when he gets into the NH. I'm sure they will. It sounds as if you have made the room really great for him. Please take care of yourself. Thinking of you and Dave. x

 

[donkey]

hi izzy and sylvia yes its almost ready just have to take his clothes now, i took dave on thursday on the way home and he put his thumb up and a man called bill stood up and shoock daves hand im quite hopefull he will settle in and i have told dave he cant come home everyday because i have to go back to work

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello Lyn:

I have just read through your post 59 and feel so sad that you had all that unnecessary stress. You have made Dave's room really good and hopefully tomorrow or Wednesday he will be moving in.

I do hope he settles quickly. Take care of yourself and hope your neck is ok - if not do get treatment quickly as I have suffered a long time having let it go too long.

Best wishes

 

[piedwarbler]

Dear Lyn
That's really terrible about Dave being left on the loo. Same thing happened to my mum in her first NH. It feels awful that you can't trust carers to care.
You did the right thing complaining. I did too but never got any apology.
I hope things are about to improve for you. Lots of love,

 

[Helen33]

Morning Lyn,

Talk about a rollercoaster of emotions and events!! I do hope you get your neck sorted and don't let it go on too long. Thank goodness your Dave was able to contact you and that you bumped into the consultant who you like and respect. He sounds wonderfully supportive and kind. Let's hope that Dave gets moved quickly so that you can all begin to settle. I smiled to myself that Dave gave the thumbs up sign at the home because I could imagine how relieved you would have felt.

Love and a (HUG)

 

[donkey]

dave is going into nursing home tomorrow and we celebrated with a beer. he wouldnt stop putting his arms around me tonight and kept kissing me something he hasnt done for a long time. not sure how i feel about tomorrow, relief that he will be out of hospital, but sadness too. im sure dave will continue too put his thumb down at the home and will take time too settle. ive noticed that every evening dave types worse and holds his head, could this be sundowning as he cant walk or talk he becomes obsessive with typing words that have no meaning or sense and becomes more disstressed. i will let you no how things go tomorrow love lyn xx

 

[Grannie G]

Fingers crossed Lyn. xx

 

[Helen33]

 ive noticed that every evening dave types worse and holds his head, could this be sundowning as he cant walk or talk he becomes obsessive with typing words that have no meaning or sense and becomes more disstressed.

It could be something like it Lyn. Alan could be very unsettled (to say the least) early evening. There seems to be an obsession about finding something. Some want to find 'home', some want to find objects like Dhiren's shoes, Alan wanted to find peace of mind cos he thought he was in danger of people nicking his things Your Dave maybe wanting to find missing words (language). It must be very distressing to experience and I know how distressing it is to witness

Once Dave is in the home it could be the place to try and find whether there are things that can alleviate some of the stress. Alan loved his stuffed animals as you know and I also found that very simple DVD's helped because language was not complicated. Things like Lassie and children's animal films. Alan loved Lassie.

I hope all goes well tomorrow.

Love xx

 

[donkey]

thanks helen and sylvia, dave will continue to type home in the evenings too and ive wrote a couple of things down that are happening tomorrow, assessment from wads and consaltant on friday for new tablets and he keeps checking it every few minutes he dosnt do this in the day it happens from about 4 untill about 8 quite managable though just frustrating. the ambulance will collect him at 9 tomorrow for his assessment at home then i will take him round to the home after lunch, dont want to leave it too late as i want him to be there in the day light and settle before bed time, i still cant believe that it has come to this in only 3or 4 years and dont want to think of the next 3 years. i hope that dave will calm and not no what is happening too him as this is the worse thing knowing how he must feel and be so scared xx

 

[Nan2seven]

Dear Lyn, you and your dear Dave have been going through some very rough times recently. Be sure to formally lodge that complaint against the hospital. Is there a PALS unit attached to the hospital? I made my complaint through them and I did get a letter full of apologies.

I do hope that all goes well with the move tomorrow and will be thinking of you both. It is lovely that the home is so close to you and that you will be able to drop in as and when you feel like it. You will get to know the care assistants there, as will Dave, and you will begin to relax just a little.

In the meantime, do take very good care of yourself. All the stress can bring you down to a very low ebb. But hopefully now that will begin to lift. And I| was so glad to see, too, that Dave was granted CHC.

Wishing you both all the very, very best for tomorrow. If you are not too tired at the end of the day, do let us know how it all went.

Love, Nan XXX

 

[elaine n]

I hope the move goes well today Lyn and that Dave settles quickly. You'll have the peace of mind now that he's not in hospital any longer and will be cared for properly by the staff. I fully understand how you feel about the disbelief of the timeline, going from caring at home to this so quickly, I felt the same about our situation here.
Thinking of you both xxxxe

 

[Helen33]

Morning Lyn,

I will be wishing you well today along with most other TPers I suspect Hope you get the thumbs up from Dave.

Love xx

 

[donkey]

dave is in NH now and sitting with 3 lovely ladies without dementia, everyone was lovely, i shall go in later after collecting the rest of his meds from hospital. one of said ladies ask me if i was his mum. i no ive aged abit but even if i had him young that would push me over 70 im 53 i told them i dont want any anky panky off them. seriously i didnt want to leave him and felt very emotional coming away but i will be going back later xxx

 

[Grannie G]

it will be all right Lyn. It`s a big ordeal but you will be able to learn to live with it. xx

 

[Bastan]

Dear Lyn,

I've just read the whole thread for the 1st time. What a nightmare you've been having. Very distressing. I hope Dave settles well in the home and gets the care he deserves.

It does seem with young onset dementia that the deterioration is much faster. My husband (Nats) has young onset too, diagnosed at 54, he is 60 now and has been in care for almost 14months. It really is horrific. I am so sorry to read of another family living through this.

Much love and empathy Bastan. xxx

 

[donkey]

thankyou all for your support much appreciated, dave seemed settled last night when we left him at 9. at 11.30 he text me with just the letter o, not sure what this ment but havnt recieved anouther one as yet. dave loved his new 32inch tele but did indicate how much it cost, thats a bit of the old dave because he never liked spending his money we just told him he was worth it. im going shopping this morning and will pop in later to see how he is. at the end of the day dave has no choice but to be there and we all need to adjust to this. the children all seem to be more relaxed now and thats good enough for me, i think it will take a little while for me but it is nice going to bed and not having to face anouther day xxx

 

[Grannie G]

it is nice going to bed and not having to face anouther day

I know the feeling Lyn. I hope you slept well. xx

 

[donkey]

sylvia the whole time dave was in hospital i did the same as i had been at home, but with the 3 visits a day on top, at the home they wont let me do anything, i worked there 15 yeaqrs ago and some of staff are still there which is nice too no. xx

 

[Grannie G]

It`s lovely Lyn.
I hope you get some peace in your life now, knowing you have good people who will share the caring with you. xx