I have just returned from visiting my parents (my mother was diagnosed with AD about 6yrs ago).
I am so glad to be back and counted the hours down to my return to my own home.
I would be interested in how other panel members who are occasional visitors to someone with AD cope and what sort of reaction you have..
I find in her company that I cannot seem to approach things without having a "don't do that, come this way, no not that person, this person....etc" type manner which seems to be perceived by her as scolding and she gets annoyed especially in public situations where really it is embarrassing if she does things wrongly and resents being told to do or not do something.
As an example today we had to cut short our lunch out in a pub because she refused to sit down and was getting extremely anxious about wanting to leave even though we were mid way through our lunch (ie we ordered and ate a main course but had to leave before having a dessert - the two "delays" in waiting were too much obviously ). As soon as she finishes her food she immediately askes where we are going, implying that she wanting to go home and then tries to get rid of her plate (this seems to be a big fixation for her)...then she wont sit down again for more than 30 seconds....what are we to do? just say "oh hell with lunch let's just give up....." Asking her politely to sit down and let everyone else finishes seemed only to work briefly before having to ask again.
Anyhow I feel at the moment really annoyed and angry at her even though it is not her fault. I suppose I think of all the time as children we were scolded and smacked for behaving the way she does in meal out situations....hence good "table manners" and waiting for others to get their food before eating yours/not getting up before everyone has finished were hard wired into us. trying to explain to her that this is good manners seems to not register now.
Meals out now seem while doable seem focussed on ordering food as soon as possible (she expects food within maybe 90 seconds), watching her mash everything up (a huge desire to chop and cut everything into very small sizes or mush), eating a reasonable amount of it quickly and then wanting to leave the moment she is finished. So a lunch out can be finished in barely 30 mins and then she often wants to go home...
Any tips from anyone on how to do meals out and how to correct or improve meal time behaviour without ending up in a battle?
I am so glad to be back and counted the hours down to my return to my own home.
I would be interested in how other panel members who are occasional visitors to someone with AD cope and what sort of reaction you have..
I find in her company that I cannot seem to approach things without having a "don't do that, come this way, no not that person, this person....etc" type manner which seems to be perceived by her as scolding and she gets annoyed especially in public situations where really it is embarrassing if she does things wrongly and resents being told to do or not do something.
As an example today we had to cut short our lunch out in a pub because she refused to sit down and was getting extremely anxious about wanting to leave even though we were mid way through our lunch (ie we ordered and ate a main course but had to leave before having a dessert - the two "delays" in waiting were too much obviously ). As soon as she finishes her food she immediately askes where we are going, implying that she wanting to go home and then tries to get rid of her plate (this seems to be a big fixation for her)...then she wont sit down again for more than 30 seconds....what are we to do? just say "oh hell with lunch let's just give up....." Asking her politely to sit down and let everyone else finishes seemed only to work briefly before having to ask again.
Anyhow I feel at the moment really annoyed and angry at her even though it is not her fault. I suppose I think of all the time as children we were scolded and smacked for behaving the way she does in meal out situations....hence good "table manners" and waiting for others to get their food before eating yours/not getting up before everyone has finished were hard wired into us. trying to explain to her that this is good manners seems to not register now.
Meals out now seem while doable seem focussed on ordering food as soon as possible (she expects food within maybe 90 seconds), watching her mash everything up (a huge desire to chop and cut everything into very small sizes or mush), eating a reasonable amount of it quickly and then wanting to leave the moment she is finished. So a lunch out can be finished in barely 30 mins and then she often wants to go home...
Any tips from anyone on how to do meals out and how to correct or improve meal time behaviour without ending up in a battle?
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