Difficult conversation


Registered User
Jan 28, 2014
Yesterday I received a phone call from our GP, she asked how we are managing. I said we are fine, I'm just going out to do shopping and exercise. She immediately told me I shouldn't be going out! I said I haven't wanted to give our daughter too much to do for me because she has a lot on her plate at home but she has done some shopping for me. The doctor said I should ask her to do it. Our daughter has been very willing to do it and has been worried about me going in shops. I promised the doctor I would let her do it from now on.
The doctor then went on to ask if we have thought about what we would want in terms of treatment if either I or my husband became ill with coronavirus. I hadn't! She said she realised it was difficult but wanted me to have a conversation with my husband and daughter about it. She wants to know if we would want to be treated at home and whether we would want hospital treatment if we didn't respond to treatment at home. We need to say whether we would want to be ventilated if necessary and whether we would want to be ressuscitated! My husband in addition to dementia has other medical conditions and had pneumonia and sepsis last year. She was particularly suggesting that he would probably be most affected should we get it and the least likely to survive. She is going to phone me again on Friday to find out our decisions. This will then be put in our notes in case we require medical assistance outside of surgery hours.
I tried to talk to my husband about it but just ended up going round in circles. I don't think he really wants to go into hospital, he was so I'll last time. I'm the other hand if I am ill and need to go to hospital he couldn't manage in his own so what would the options be for care for him. For myself I do not have other health problems and would like any intervention necessary to try to get me through it. I'm not ready to go yet!! I'm hoping that when she phoned back she will talk to my husband about it because I don't feel I'm getting through. Personally I feel he would not cope in hospital and would be unlikely to survive, I wouldn't want any efforts made to resuscitate because his quality of life since the sepsis isn't good. I don't know if the doctor will accept my feelings and wishes for him or whether it will depend what he says. Whatever happens I need to know that if I am ill care will be arranged for him but not sure if that will be the case.


Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
hi @yorkie46
I guess these things have to be considered but what an unexpected phone call ... I hope it was neutral and not putting any pressure on you

might you email the GP with pretty much what you have put in your post, which is clear and thoughtful, so she has an idea of what you are thinking before she calls you


Registered User
Aug 26, 2018
This has hit the news tonight as being totally out of order. The suggestion is that the GPs don't want to have to be called/called out should the worst happen.

While it is something that is always worth discussing, I am appalled that GPs think it appropriate to raise it as they are doing.