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Different problem.


Registered User
Apr 26, 2006
Jean is not incontinent by the strict definition of the word.

She is able to find and use the toilet when necessary however, she does not clean herself afterwards.

Sometime ago I introduced incontinence pads which have worked very well up to the present time but now she has started to remove the pads, when I am out of the house, tearing them up and hiding them in obscure places in the house or, more usually, in the garden.

I have had some suggestions for combatting this such as introducing pads which are built into underwear and using a swimming costume to put the pads in. Both these are very practical suggestions but somehow do not appeal to either me or Jean.

I feel that if she wears a swimming costume she may stop using the toilet altogether as she will not be capable of removing it when she she needs to go.

I have also had samples of the pull up pants with pads and she has taken one look at these and flung them across the room with a snort of derision.

I realise that that there may not be a complete answer to stopping her removing the pads but I really would welcome any further suggestions in case there is anything I have overlooked.


Registered User
Aug 7, 2007
Faecal Stains

Depending on how severe the "not wiping" problem is, you may want to consider panty liners.

J. has a very slight urine incontinence problem (dribbles) and occasionally there are faecal stains. She thought it was incontinence; based on the amount of the stain, I am almost certain it is incorrect wiping. J. has used panty liners for many years and we have just switched to the large size which, when carefully placed are OK to deal with the faecal stain most of the time. (Any that is missed is dealt with by washing at 60).

The great advantage of panty liners is their lack of bulk.

P.S. If "panty liners" does not mean anything to you, drop me a private message and I will send you brand names and additional descriptors. (I spent my career working for one of the company that makes these products, so brand name on public site would be "doubly naughty").


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Grommit, I found this intermediate stage very difficult. Retaining some dignity at the same time as minimising accidents is a difficult balancing act, though John did accept pull-ups. Pads were impossible for him to manage on his own.

I think the suggestion of panty liners is a good one, and may be easier for Jean to accept.

One major problem of not wiping, particularly with women, is the risk of infection. The only way round this (as far as I know), is to accompany her to the toilet, but I know this is not possible in your circumstances.



Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
Grommit I assume the issue is faeces (to be graphic)? Now I understand the desire to use something that you can just toss away, and I agree that panty liners (particularly the ones with wings - I have difficulty removing those) might work, but if they don't have you considered washable incontinence knickers? I know this would be more work for you, and require a system of soaking etc as one does with cloth nappies, but if the alternative is finding discarded pads in strange locations it might be preferable. Those may be what you are talking about when you mention pads within knickers though. Just a suggestion. If you decide to try the liner route, go for the extra long ones. The other problem I can see with the liners is that she might try to put them down the loo and then you're going to have plumbing problems to add to your woes.


Registered User
Apr 26, 2006
Thanks everyone.

I am at the moment using a brand of panty liners, I call them pads, but without wings.

I am just wondering now if the ones with wings would be more difficult for her to remove.

I will make enquiries before i order the next batch to see if these are available on prescription.

Again please allow me to thank you so much for your helpful suggestions.


Registered User
Jun 18, 2006
get carers in a caring comany not your local SW dept..

you need a good Social Worker,thats experienced with this illness..demand it..if you dont get it go to your MP or MSP,its there job to get you help....
all best wishes..