Very sad that your mum has such a poor existence and difficult to improve things without the potential for a massive family fall-out. Could you think of a way of someone, eg SW, just "happening" to call when you are there, so that it doesn't come across as you deliberately arranging the visit, thus maybe lessening the flak for you. Anyone coming into the house must notice urine smell if mum is being left to wear soiled clothing for hours on end so that could lead SW to comment and then point out responsibility to keep your mum clean and fresh, so SW could suggest solutions and even insist on some action.
I imagine that your brother could well be unhappy to see mum like this but desperately trying to do his best but unable to see the way forward. If care worker was organised to come in, say, twice a day it could make such a change for him as well as your mum.
I imagine that your brother could well be unhappy to see mum like this but desperately trying to do his best but unable to see the way forward. If care worker was organised to come in, say, twice a day it could make such a change for him as well as your mum.