Hello, this is my first post. Basically my brother lives at home with my Mum who has recently been diagnosed with mixed dementia. He has always lived with her and is very much a loner. I have a family of my own but am happy to help Mum. He considers himself to be the main carer and gets carers allowance and also financial help from mum. She pays all the bills. He thinks he can make all the decisions without referring to me at all. I actually am in sole charge of washing mum, cutting nails, cutting hair etc, but this doesn't stop him thinking he does it all. Yesterday we had the very good dementia adviser to visit, all the usual good advice. When she had gone he said to me "I'm not having any carers in because I can't cope with that". No asking my opinion. Also he is refusing to implement the Power of Attorney yet because I know that Mum supports him financially and he thinks this might come to an end. Does a diagnosis of dementia mean you legally have to implement P of A? He refuses to spend any of her money in order to offset tax etc, and keeps the house freezing cold, so I have to freeze when I go there, (although her room is warm). He also keeps her upstairs, I have told him it would be much better for her to move her bedroom downstairs. He said if she was in the downstairs room below his bedroom he would hear every noise. He refuses to get her a tv or radio as it would disturb him. His negativity is too much for me to bear. I spend a lot of each visit listening to him moaning. He has refused access to other relatives even though it would be stimulating for her to see other people. Obviously Mum should be the main concern, but the whole situation is made so much more difficult for me due to his attitude. I would be so grateful for any advice anyone has! Thank you.