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Did we need to get ss involved as self funding ?

lori107

Registered User
Nov 4, 2014
45
I posted recently about my fil who broke his hip in October and is registered blind and has alzheimers. He has been in a care home since he fell over but has kept on and on about going back to his flat. He is very unsteady on his feet and has had numerous falls since October. After fil kept going on about going back we involved ss for a formal assessment of him which she has been doing since January. Fil is completely self funded and we have been paying for his ch since November. SW has seen him 3 times and was supposed to be going to visit him with a Dementia nurse at the same but they couldn't coordinate their diaries so she went on her own. Fil admitted at her last visit that he understood he needed 24 hour care which is why he couldn't return home and dementia nurse said on a previous visit that she thought he had detoriated since her last visit and the CH seemed to think she was saying he lacked capacity to make decisions. CH manager also said that they did not think he was capable of understanding the dangers of going home and that he required help with personal care and toileting. He was also getting up in the night and wandering around his room and he had a fall that night. Now SW says he has the capacity to make decisions regarding his accommodation and that even if he is not safe and is very vulnerable he can still go back home until something happens to him. Oh has arranged a meeting in mid march to challenge what fil is saying but it seems that whatever fil wants to do, he can. My question, because he is self funded at the CH did we need to involve ss with this or could we just have kept saying that he needs to stay in the home until he is better? Fil denies he has any medical conditions and SW is aware of this. So we have to just let him go home until he falls again or something happens. What happened to him being a vulnerable adult, doesn't that apply to him? He can't afford 24 hour care at home . we now wish we had never contacted social services
 

Witzend

Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
4,291
SW London
We never involved SS with our two self funders, and after all I've read and heard, I'm very glad we didn't. To be honest it didn't even occur to us either time - and certainly in my mother's case she would have positively hated the idea of social workers poking their noses into her affairs.

Some people seem to think you are obliged to involve them, and of course if you are not self funded this is the case, but even looking back I can't see that they could have been much help. We knew our relatives better than they ever would, and speaking for myself I would not have tolerated a relative stranger telling me what was best for my mother or my FIL. (OK, I will admit to stroppy tendencies now and then...).

I won't pretend that finding the right care homes was quick or easy, but we managed me both times.
 

Pickles53

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
2,474
Radcliffe on Trent
I didn't gave any dealings with SS after an initial meeting when I was informed that mum didn't meet the criteria for them to organise carers at home. I already k ew she soy,d be completely self-funding so just researched the local care homes myself. The only professional I discussed this with was mum's CPN and he was satisfied that she understood east was being proposed.

I would write (by recorded delivery) and say if SW allows him to return to a situation where it is known that he is not safe then they are placing a vulnerable adult at risk and you will hold them entirely responsible for the consequences. Copy the letter to GP, memory clinic, MP, anyone else involved in his care.
 

Pickles53

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
2,474
Radcliffe on Trent
I didn't have any dealings with SS after an initial meeting when I was informed that mum didn't meet the criteria for them to organise carers at home. I already k ew she soy,d be completely self-funding so just researched the local care homes myself. The only professional I discussed this with was mum's CPN and he was satisfied that she understood east was being proposed.

I would write (by recorded delivery) and say if SW allows him to return to a situation where it is known that he is not safe then they are placing a vulnerable adult at risk and you will hold them entirely responsible for the consequences. Copy the letter to GP, memory clinic, MP, anyone else involved in his care.