Did i do the right thing?

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by katehh16, Dec 27, 2014.

  1. katehh16

    katehh16 Registered User

    Feb 21, 2014
    33
    derbyshire
    3 weeks on......

    Am having these terrible times of self doubt............why didn't i realise death was so close, could I have done something different, why didn't i stay with Mum...........the list is endless.
    Just difficult to believe that everything happened so quickly, was I just ignoring what was obvious to other people? There are people in much worse situations at the care home, so I didn't think it was Mums 'turn'.
    Feel so stupid, I'm an intelligent 50 plus woman who just can't seem to grasp the reality of everything.
     
  2. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    8,511
    leicester
    Well I am 12 weeks on from my husbands passing, and yes like you I am filled with so much self doubt.. But it has happened and no matter how difficult we find it, at some point we have to find acceptance.. I hope for us and all the others on TP in the same situation that we can do so soon.
     
  3. loza

    loza Registered User

    Jul 4, 2013
    22
    Future

    I totally understand where you are comin from, mum passed away begining of Nov14, although I was with her, she was unresponsive even when she passed, there were no last noises or eyes open or anything to remind me of who she was, all the way thro altho she had lost everything the stranger in the bed still had my mums eyes and that was how i felt, I still went everyday...because she was my mum. This whole experience has left me bereft and very unsettled as I feel lost. I keep telling myself to pull myself together as it is the circle of life, but its really not that easy and has left a huge gap.
     
  4. Oxy

    Oxy Registered User

    Jul 19, 2014
    955
    please accept my condolences.
    Easier said than done -but try not to blame yourself for anything. You took GPs advice. It was so sad for you that you could not be present but I have read that some people choose to be alone when the time is right for them. Your mum would have felt your loving care to the end. You are in shock especially where you did not expect this so soon and also exhausted. Would you consider talking to cruse maybe to help you?
    Wishing you much strength and that as time progresses you will be able to remember happy times you had together.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.