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Diagnosis

EmotionallyExhausted

Registered User
Dec 30, 2019
13
Hi everyone

I haven’t posted for a while, but we had the diagnosis today. My uncle has early Alzheimer’s. He is starting a course of meds next week.

Today has been a bit of a mixture of emotions. The assessments were difficult because he was told to stop driving with immediate effect after the first test and he just couldn’t get his head around it. The doctor was lovely today on his diagnostic call and she let him down lightly when she said that he had to just resign himself to not being able to drive anymore. We just held on to the fact that there will be medication to help him. Obviously it won’t cure it or stop it, but at least there’s something for now.

I feel the relief of knowing the prognosis, but at the same time, I feel a sense of grief that we’re going to eventually lose him to this illness. He was quite positive at the end of the phone call with the doctor, and I got a minute with him by myself so I gave him a big hug and told him how proud I was of him for seeing the assessment process through to this point and told him that I loved him very much.

Maybe the shock hasn’t hit us all yet, we knew in our heart of hearts, but I guess we’ve got to just let it sink in.

How did all you carers feel at this point?
 

CardiffGirlInEssex

Registered User
Oct 6, 2018
201
I found it a relief in a way, because it confirmed that the behaviours were not something mum was doing deliberately or had any control over. But also so sad, you are already grieving for the person you knew because by the time there is a diagnosis they have already changed a lot and so has your relationship with them.
 

Bod

Registered User
Aug 30, 2013
1,335
You now have a peg, on which to hang your hat.
Stick with us here, we know what you might need to know in the future.
Don't be upset by some of the topics here, not everyone's Dementia journey is the same.
But be aware that a "stich in time, saves nine".
Get him into routines now that suit, those who will be caring for him, get help/care coming into the house before it is really needed, then he will accept it when it is truly needed.

Bod
 

EmotionallyExhausted

Registered User
Dec 30, 2019
13
Thanks, Bod. He is a very proud man who has openly said to the doctor at his diagnostic appointment that he would rather keep things as they are and struggle than allow for aids to be put in his house! This will change later, of course, but this will be the big challenge. His son is the one who will have to do big things like that. My sister and I are there for him for errands and moral support.

We’ll see how it pans out! Got to enjoy the time I have left with him. This lockdown doesn’t help his mental state much.

You now have a peg, on which to hang your hat.
Stick with us here, we know what you might need to know in the future.
Don't be upset by some of the topics here, not everyone's Dementia journey is the same.
But be aware that a "stich in time, saves nine".
Get him into routines now that suit, those who will be caring for him, get help/care coming into the house before it is really needed, then he will accept it when it is truly needed.

Bod
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
925
Southampton
my husband has vascular dementia and is also a proud man. i have been caring for him and he accepted,due to my medical problems, that i needed help and was willing to accept that help until he didnt like the way the social worker talked to me he wont accept any help but has said i can do it. wrong social worker undoes hope.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,641
South coast
Remember that there comes a time when you have to change from enabling their wants, to implementing their needs.