1. Flake

    Flake Registered User

    Mar 9, 2015
    Not a good day! Mum was very confused this morning and trying to get her ready for her Clinic appointment was hard going. She could not understand the need to get her decent clothes on, the underwear in the drawer did not belong to her and that man had slept in her bed with that woman and lipstick was on her sheets. She was confused as to who I was and this went on for most of the journey. We saw the Consultant and the diagnosis was there! How hard it is to talk in front of my mum. How could I say in front of her that she had deteriorated and her illusions were getting worse. Anyway she has Vascular dementia, the scan showed many mini bleeds which although not causing a huge problem are there along with Alzheimers. My poor mum was oblivious and I think I was a little shell shocked. Even though I knew deep down that dementia had a hold I was not expecting mixed. I was told that she may have TIAs or a stroke and we were given a prescription of Memantine. Im hoping that in the next few days I will get my head round the diagnosis but the new fear is the expectation of a possible TIA/Stroke or Heart attack. :( Thankfully my Mum is happy, oblivious and looking forward to her glass of wine!
  2. aquarius58

    aquarius58 Registered User

    Apr 28, 2015
    At least you know now. I think that is so important. It certainly helps. I hope you had a good evening and your mother enjoyed her wine.
  3. Grey Lad

    Grey Lad Registered User

    Sep 12, 2014
    North East Lincs
    Hi Flake I hope there is plenty of support available in your area to help you now you have a diagnosis. As you say it is so difficult to talk to medical staff when our loved one is in the room. Perhaps you should seek a separate appointment if there are further questions you want to ask the Consultant or one of his team.
  4. henfenywfach

    henfenywfach Registered User

    May 23, 2013
    Hi!...its such a difficult time when you are sitting infront of someone thats mapping out the rest of yours and your mums life.

    I am my dads carer and explaining the truth in front of him was difficult at first. We used body language and sat in a semi circle so that my dad could only see forward and not our reactions. It he was asked a particular question hed say yes im great with that..or this isnt happening..id say it in a way that he wasnt even aware id said it...like when hes asking dad does he ever see certain things in front of him delusion wise dad would say no id say in the tone of hes okay arent you dad..with the words yes they are happening..

    for the carer and the person with a diagnosis knowing is the key that unlocks support avenues, medication and a flag on medical records and on the national dementia register. If ever you needed support when wandering or medical help it shows the person is vunerable...

    There are carers courses and the key to caring for your loved one is listening to other peoples experiences and reading all the info the alzheimers society has..its so valuable...

    Every single person is different and their progression is different..but we all laugh cry love and hurt as carers for our loved ones..in that we unite.

    Join memory cafes.. (even if you say your going elsewhere)..choir or singing for the brain arts craft....not matter what they wear how mobile they are how they talk or understand these groups are with people that understand and comfort you and your loved one without words...

    Ups and downs are part and parcel..frustrations anger too...we laugh together eventhough thats less and less as he progresses. We cant do anything to stop it..but we aim to put hurdles in its way and find ways of softening its impact..sometimes successfully sometimes not.

    Soon your shock and hurt and relief to know what your dealing with. Will turn to anger towards the dementia..
    Best wishes

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using Talking Point mobile app
  5. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    Just thinking of you and your Mum, Flake and sharing your sadness at the finality of the diagnosis. WIFE
  6. Flake

    Flake Registered User

    Mar 9, 2015
    Felt abit better today, I think knowing the diagnosis actually helps and makes the illusions and strange behaviour a little more understandable. My visit today was still full of strange things, she had lost her cat (she hasnt got a cat) and was quite worried about it, which one I asked, the black one. - Oh I think he must have gone on a wander, you know what cats are like, I said. I took her some shopping, chocolate, flowers and cake, and the thing she liked the most was a new peg bag! So happy with something so simple! Anyway I would like to thank you all for your kind words and suggestions. This is a brilliant site and although there are many sad stories, it is nice to now that we all have a common theme and I do not feel so totally alone x x x

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