Hi,
I posted on here back in 2012 asking advice about my mum displaying the first possible signs of dementia. Several months later I wrote to her GP and asked if he could see my mum under the pretence of a health check, which he did. My mum stormed out of the doctors when the GP questioned her memory and has since refused to see that GP again. They don't know it was me who contacted the GP initially. I have tried to keep the discussion open with my dad over the years, but now, after recent incidents with mum, I feel like he is struggling to cope with her and it is affecting his health. Dad is 80 and mum is 79. Mum has gone from being active to getting up about midday, taking ages to get dressed, not wanting to leave the house for days on end and complaining about reoccurring ailments for which she had been the GP several times and nothing had been discovered or diagnosed.
Her short term memory is nearly gone. You can be asked the same question five or six times in the same conversation or she will be looking for her bag or coat as she cannot remember where it was left. Over Christmas she mislaid her wedding ring and was distraught, and could not remember where she left it last. They never left the house for two days whilst my dad searched for it.
Now, when they visit, mum starts talking about events from thirty or forty years ago, private things, that should not really be getting discussed. My dad has started asking for help and he won't make a GP appointment as mum shouts at him and gets angry and hits him when he mentions the 'dementia' word or about going to the doctors. It is almost like denial for her as she cannot remember forgetting, if that makes sense? So mum gets angry as she cannot understand why dad keeps 'having a go' at her about things.
What can I do? I don't live near them, but want to help in anyway I can.
Is there anyone in the south Liverpool area that he can go to for advice or that can go to the house to talk to my parents or that my dad can take my mum? I feel like she is just slipping away and whenever I mention to dad privately about getting another GP appointment for mum, he just says, "I can't do it, its my wife, she will never forgive me". I know it is hurting him inside having to deal with this, but how do I get him to do something? Can someone speak to him and make him realise he is not alone?
I've told him about contacting Social Services or the Alzheimer's Society Liverpool, but he won't budge. If I could put him into contact with someone, then that may get him started.
Thanks, Ken
I posted on here back in 2012 asking advice about my mum displaying the first possible signs of dementia. Several months later I wrote to her GP and asked if he could see my mum under the pretence of a health check, which he did. My mum stormed out of the doctors when the GP questioned her memory and has since refused to see that GP again. They don't know it was me who contacted the GP initially. I have tried to keep the discussion open with my dad over the years, but now, after recent incidents with mum, I feel like he is struggling to cope with her and it is affecting his health. Dad is 80 and mum is 79. Mum has gone from being active to getting up about midday, taking ages to get dressed, not wanting to leave the house for days on end and complaining about reoccurring ailments for which she had been the GP several times and nothing had been discovered or diagnosed.
Her short term memory is nearly gone. You can be asked the same question five or six times in the same conversation or she will be looking for her bag or coat as she cannot remember where it was left. Over Christmas she mislaid her wedding ring and was distraught, and could not remember where she left it last. They never left the house for two days whilst my dad searched for it.
Now, when they visit, mum starts talking about events from thirty or forty years ago, private things, that should not really be getting discussed. My dad has started asking for help and he won't make a GP appointment as mum shouts at him and gets angry and hits him when he mentions the 'dementia' word or about going to the doctors. It is almost like denial for her as she cannot remember forgetting, if that makes sense? So mum gets angry as she cannot understand why dad keeps 'having a go' at her about things.
What can I do? I don't live near them, but want to help in anyway I can.
Is there anyone in the south Liverpool area that he can go to for advice or that can go to the house to talk to my parents or that my dad can take my mum? I feel like she is just slipping away and whenever I mention to dad privately about getting another GP appointment for mum, he just says, "I can't do it, its my wife, she will never forgive me". I know it is hurting him inside having to deal with this, but how do I get him to do something? Can someone speak to him and make him realise he is not alone?
I've told him about contacting Social Services or the Alzheimer's Society Liverpool, but he won't budge. If I could put him into contact with someone, then that may get him started.
Thanks, Ken
