Diagnosed last week

[SarahDino]

My Mum (69) was diagnosed with Alzheimer's last thursday, we are all devastated as a family and trying our best to support her and my Dad(80). We had started the process of moving them closer to me and my sister when we started noticing problems. (Early January). They live 55 miles away from us at the moment. In an ideal world they would be close by and in constant contact with us. But along came the Covid-19 virus and our worlds have been completely turned upside down.
My mum's moods differ from day to day, my dad is happy to sit and play on his ipad doing jigsaws and having the odd nap, which just annoys my mum no end....queue to rows.
Do we self isolate them so far away, with no support or move them in with us for the foreseeable future?
As it is such a new diagnosis we have no support set in place, and are struggling to know what to do for the best......
Any advice no matter how small would be greatly appreciated.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @SarahDino you are welcome here and I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

That is a difficult situation. I know from the days when my wife was going through the system towards her dementia diagnosis that a lot of friction existed. It takes a while after diagnosis for adjustment to the new norm to occur.

I wonder if it would be of benefit to check for any support services in your parent's area. Click on the following link if you want to check this
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

 

[karaokePete]

It may also be worth checking if the Admiral Nurses operate in the area as they may be aware of any support services available. You can follow this link to check

Dementia UK Helpline extends opening hours

Dementia UK helpline extends opening hours on weekdays from 09:00 to 21:00

www.dementiauk.org

 

[Sirena]

That is such a difficult situation, and whichever you choose you will probably think you did the wrong thing - with dementia it's often a question of choosing the 'least worst' option.

To some extent it depends on your circumstances. Have you got room for them? If you'll be overcrowded, it wouldn't be helpful as you would not be able to self isolate if necessary. Is anyone in your household providing essential services, so still out and about at at risk of bringing a virus back into the home? Think about how them staying with you would work in practical terms.

That aside, I would be inclined to think they will be better in their own home. People with dementia like familiarity, and your mother may well deteriorate if moved, causing the arguments to intensity. If she is additionally disorientated, she may start to wander, wanting to get back home.

Let us know what you decide to do.