• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.



Registered User
Jul 25, 2006
I have just left the hospital, having sat for 11 hrs with mum, waited for over 24 hrs for a new drug, with words ringing in my ears you're not leaving without me, I wont stay in this horrid hotel.... I am a nurse and feel totally inadequate and angry with leaving my mum in the hands of the NHS.


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
I have just left the hospital, having sat for 11 hrs with mum, waited for over 24 hrs for a new drug
how that is terrible .

I am a nurse and feel totally inadequate and angry with leaving my mum in the hands of the NHS.
I Can understand that being angry not wanting to leave . inadequate NO WAY , caring, loving, supporting yes xx
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Registered User
Jun 26, 2007
self preservation!

my dad is now late stage but through the journey we have had to suffer the most idiotic nhs staff (my husband is an Emergency care practioner) so he obviously supports the nhs but have been amazed/horrified. one staff nurse asked me after dad had been on his ward for 3 weeks 'did you know that he's rather confused' yeh - he's got ad. on the other hand i have met saff who are superb. the fact is though that our ad loved ones dont realy notice the shortcomings(well only for a moment) thier perception of happiness is based on a feeling of safety which does not always come from professional competence or drugs. take care of yourself - its hard but you have to think of your own health and state of mind - your mum will say stuff to you but once you have gone from the ward she will cope - probably well - my dad says stuff and then if you question him on the statement he has not got a clue. we have found the most wonderful emi home for him he loves it, i love it - he is experiencing a quality of life - take care xx diddy

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Suzanne, I had a similar experience with my mother, we were in A&E for 10 hours before she was seen by a doctor, and wasn`t allowed any food or drink in case she needed surgery.

She had Shingles.

I wrote a very strong letter of complaint to the Hospital trust, giving as many details as I could, and there was a full investigation.

She was admitted to A&E a few months later and had far better treatment. It was obvious my complaint had been taken on board.

If you make a formal complaint it will make you feel better, only I hope the hospital you find fault with is not the same hospital you work in.

Take care xx


Registered User
Jul 25, 2006
devestated [getting better]

glad to say that mum is improving, the system at the hospital looks to be on the verge of imploding so will be glad to get her home.


Registered User
Dec 1, 2006
Suzanne, so glad to hear your mum is improving. Don't blame yourself for anything. It is completely different caring for your patients, being professional with them compared to caring for your mum. You cannot expect to set your kinship to one side and hope that your emotions won't be affected by what is happening to her. You are her daughter and you feel very acutely any upset on all sorts of emotional levels that won't apply with other patients. Not that you don't care for your other patients, but the relationship with your mum is something very, very special, deep and personal. Be kind to yourself, you're doing great! Love Deborah x


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Suzanne, so glad your mum is improving. You'll feel so much better once you have her home.

Deborah's right, it's so much different with someone you love. That's no criticism of the professionals, they couldn't do their job if they had an emotional bond with every patient. But ther's no excuse for the treatment your mum received.

Let us know how she gets on,

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