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Registered User
Jan 28, 2016
Hi - I'm new to forum.
My dad has vascular dementia and a shunt for hydrocephalus.
He has lived me me for over a year. His detipratipn regarding dementia began in.2011/12.
He has detiorayed greatly recently. He has not had a shower since before Xmas as he is always too tired and/or doesn't want to get a chill.
Is it time to get carers in.to support him?

Thank you for reading. Any thoughts welcome.


Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
Welcome to TP, lots of support on here
I would say yes, carers in to support him and to help you out too
My Ma didn't want a shower, she really started to feel the cold, and couldn't manage a bath but we had a brilliant carer who came in each morning but once or twice a week she gave my Ma a strip wash and then pampered her with creams and talc and things like that, worked really well.

I did a small checklist of things that helped me in the beginning so I'll put it on here and if it is of any help that's great but you might find you have it all covered.
If you have an Admiral Nurse in your area (you will need to google it) then lots of people have said how helpful they are. Admiral Nursing Direct on 0800 888 6678 FREE or email direct@dementiauk.org

You can phone Social Services Adult Care Duty Desk and ask for an assessment if there have been no recommendations from the Unit - services like carers visiting to help with the daily routine/personal care or day care that should be an option - a day centre where they have lunch and activities. As well as our social services centre we also have Crossroads Day Centre where people can go for up to 3 days

It is worth googling Dementia activities + your area to see what is going on. There is probably a fair bit but you need to search for it. Some care homes also do 'day care' which can be useful but I would try the day centres first
This leaflet on compassionate communication is very useful - I found it very hard to master but I stuck it on my fridge to remind me every day and it really does work

Do have a look at it

You can also ask for a carers assessment - this will give you a break and give you some 'free' hours of help possibly. it might seem early days to be thinking of a 'break' but a few hours here and there is a good idea from as early on as you can.

If you are not already getting it do apply for Attendance Allowance - the forms are a bit tricky in that you have to imagine the worst possible day and write down the help that is needed (not the help that they get at the moment but what would be ideal for what they NEED). Attendance Allowance is not means tested and you should get it, if you need some help with the forms come back and ask Age UK are really good at helping with assessing what benefits you can claim and then they also help you fill in the forms - someone will come to your house. Age UK are also very good at practical advice and help - Age UK Advice line free national advice line that is open 365 days a year. To talk to someone, just call 0800 169 2081.

I would strongly advise you to join your local carers organisation - they usually have a carers cafe (and so do Alzheimers society in some areas) and it is worth a morning off to go and find out what help there is in your area over a cup of coffee - lots of friendship and support face to face and everyone in the same boat.

If there are issues with incontinence all areas have a continence service - you will need to look up your Trust or google your area plus Continence Service. The continence nurses we have had have been wonderful and pads are supplied free by the NHS.

The Dementia helpline is a useful number to have

Alzheimer's Society National Dementia Helpline 0300 222 1122 can provide information, support, guidance and signposting to other appropriate organisations.

The Helpline is usually open from:
9am - 8pm Monday to Wednesday
9am - 5pm on Thursday and Friday
10am - 4pm on Saturday and Sunday

keep posting there are lots of people to support you on here xxx