What a morning!! I went to pick my husband up from his care home this morning to take him to his day care centre and was asked to speak with the Manager of the home. Apparently during the night my husband rang the call bell several times and because someone didn't come at his beck and call he became aggressive and when the carer did try to go into the room he was blocking the door and she had to 'brush' past him and he took affront at this and 'thumped' her. I have been told today if he does this again he will be asked to leave and of course I will have to tell a new care home he has been violent. I have looked at prices on the internet and they are £250 more a week than I am paying now!!! I have spent the last two hours crying as I do not feel I have anywhere to turn to. I have to self fund as our local Council refused to fund him as I hadn't tried carers 4 times a day. I tried to tell them that wouldn't work as he needs care during the night (which they said they could not provide) as he wakes frequently and needs someone there immediately. He had started to wander and we have steep stairs. I had carried on at home as long as I could but couldn't carry on any longer, and things came to a head when he urinated on the bathroom floor for the 10th time one Sunday and said if I didn't get him into care he would take his own life. At what point do the Council have to be forced to pay I am only just treading water financially at the moment and keeping my head just above the parapet as I have to look after my own home expenses as well. So in effect I am running 2 households. We are both 62 and just when life should be at the enjoying stage, mortgage paid off, kids independent, we are lumbered with 2 life limiting illnesses, Parkinsons and Alzheimers Disease. My husband gets DLA and has 2 occupational pensions, one very small. I had to retire early last Christmas as I couldn't juggle work and home care anymore and I have a pittance of an occupational pension to live on. I have cut my expenses to the bone by eating what I can afford, not what I want. I turn lights off and only put one bar of the halogen heater on to take the edge off the cold in the lounge. Don't want the central heating on until it is absolutely necessary. Any savings we have will now have to meet the care home fees, when we should have been 'enjoying the fruits of our labour' I know I am not the only one dealing with this. I have found that neighbours avoid me unless I am in the car and then a wave is given as they know they won't have to speak. I also care for my 92 year old mum who is still living in her own home She doesn't really need any help as she has a cleaner and a gardener and I help with her meals. I don't have a large network of family (only have 1 brother who lives a long way away) and of the friends we had most have walked away, not sure what they thought we would ask them to do. So it is a pretty isolating place for me right now. Life doesn't really hold much for me to look forward to anymore, it is all just a drudge. Went to the Doctors when it first all happened I was given a simpering look and told to make the most of my time on my own. Won't be going back to the Doctors again. The only time I want contact with them is when I am dead and they can certify I am gone!! Sorry to have a rant but don't know what else to do. Any help or advice re funding would be very much appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read this post.