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Desperate!

Helayna

Registered User
Jul 13, 2016
2
My 84 year old Mother has vascular dementia showing early signs from about 15 years ago. Last year she moved into a nursing home. She is fully mobile and does not allow any staff to do anything for her. She believes she is in her own home but occasionally expresses dislike of the home. She was a headteacher of primary school age and children make her happier than anything else! She tends to get cross if she is not spoken to directly or ignored and more recently the manager of the home has said she has received written complaints from other visitors about Mum actually hitting them. Can the Management insist that they will not look after Mum?
They are charging extra for Mums care and have a very small grant from the social services!
Any advice would be welcomed. Very distressing!
 

Wigan

Registered User
May 5, 2013
73
My 84 year old Mother has vascular dementia showing early signs from about 15 years ago. Last year she moved into a nursing home. She is fully mobile and does not allow any staff to do anything for her. She believes she is in her own home but occasionally expresses dislike of the home. She was a headteacher of primary school age and children make her happier than anything else! She tends to get cross if she is not spoken to directly or ignored and more recently the manager of the home has said she has received written complaints from other visitors about Mum actually hitting them. Can the Management insist that they will not look after Mum?
They are charging extra for Mums care and have a very small grant from the social services!
Any advice would be welcomed. Very distressing!
Hi

I don't understand why the manager has told you she has received written complaints about your mum hitting visitors. She should have looked into the circumstances around the incidents and discussed them with you. Did you get a phone call when any of these incidents happened? Also, have you seen the documented evidence written in mum's diary for e.g. as it would be useful to see if there was a trigger for mum as there usually is when a person becomes aggressive.

I wouldn't be happy with the manager telling me this and would request a meeting to discuss it in more details. She should be working with you and the carers to try to prevent this happening again and more so to get to the route of why she is doing this.

Is your mum in a nursing home or a care home? When my father in law was in a nursing home, he became disruptive and aggressive due to his condition as he was suffering from post stroke psychosis. They quickly moved him on whereas had he been in a care home suited to his needs, this would not have happened as they are better equipped to deal with residents with challenging behaviours.

You need to speak to the manager and find out their plans for your mum. I'm also confused as to why they are charging more for your mum.

Good Luck and don't be afraid to ask questions and say what you think.