Hi, I have posted a couple of times in the past, but usually I just read other people's postings and have gained alot of help from just doing that. I will try to make this as short as possible and hope that you will bear with me. My Mum broke her hip approx. 2 years ago, she has been diagnosed with Dementia approx. 2 yrs and has been in a Care Home since February this year when my Dad died. Approx 9 weeks ago she was admitted to hospital to have the screws replaced in her repaired hip as they had become displaced - things have gone dramatically down hill since. General wards in hospitals cannot cope with patients with Dementia, she was shouting all night long and then approx. 7 days after her op. she developed MRSA in the wound. She was then put in a side ward, but she was eating and drinking very little, she became dehydrated and she was put on a drip but numerous times she pulled it out. Mum was transferred to a Community Hospital which specialises in treating the elderly and to be honest I thought she would be better off there as I thought they would be used to Dementia, this was not the case, she was sent back to the Care Home a week last Tuesday and admitted to hosptal the next night dehydrated and with an acute water infection which made the confusion worse. Since then she has hardly eaten or drunk anything, my sister and I have been going in at meal times to help her feed but with very little success. They cannot get any medication into her as she just will not take it. I have been with her this afternoon she is very drowsy and it is soul destroying she is laying on her bed with the sides up, she is rattling and shaking the sides. The Doctor came to try and put a drip in her foot ( without success) but she kicked him, she hit a nurse who was changing her bed and she lashed out at me - she called the nurse a filthy dog. My Mum was one of the nicest mild mannered ladies you could find. I don't know how much longer this can go on, what I do know is Dementia is an absolute pig of an illness. Sorry for going on and on. Take Care everyone.
Desperate Situation
- Thread starter Carolann
- Start date
I wish there was something 'practical' I could say or do to help ....
Please don't feel any need for apologies or that anyone is 'bearing with you' - we're here to help each other in whatever way we can ..... if all I can do is offer an 'ear' to listen and a virtual hug I hope it helps in some small way.....
Thinking of you,
Love, Karen
Please don't feel any need for apologies or that anyone is 'bearing with you' - we're here to help each other in whatever way we can ..... if all I can do is offer an 'ear' to listen and a virtual hug I hope it helps in some small way.....
Thinking of you,
Love, Karen
Hi, Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I forgot to put in my earlier post that today was made worse because of the attitude of the male nurse in charge of the ward. My sister and I had an appointment to see Mums doctor on the ward today at 10.30. I arrived earlier than my sister and told the nurse that I had an appointment, he told me that it was unlikely because the doctor would not be on the ward until the afternnoon. I told him the appointment had been made for us by another nurse and that we were to be there at 10.30 and he spoke to me as though I was a schoolgirl and he was the teacher and told me to go through and sit with my Mother and wait for the doctor. I asked him how my Mum was and he said very off handly that he did not know as he was not dealing with her - I was really upset by this attitude.
Take Care
Take Care
Hi Carolann
Unfortuneately you have come up against one of the rare jobsworths in this sad business, do not be upset by this unusual attitude. You are not a schoolgirl and he is certainly no teacher. You are one of us - age , gender and whatever does not matter for we are the carers, unpaid, undervalued and often misunderstood. Value those who try to understand and recognise our contribution, pity the rest.
Hugs
Dick
Unfortuneately you have come up against one of the rare jobsworths in this sad business, do not be upset by this unusual attitude. You are not a schoolgirl and he is certainly no teacher. You are one of us - age , gender and whatever does not matter for we are the carers, unpaid, undervalued and often misunderstood. Value those who try to understand and recognise our contribution, pity the rest.
Hugs
Dick
Hi Dick,
I know you are right in what you say as the majority of the nursing staff have been very kind. I think I was feeling particularly vulnerable this morning.
Thanks for your reply,
Carol
I know you are right in what you say as the majority of the nursing staff have been very kind. I think I was feeling particularly vulnerable this morning.
Thanks for your reply,
Carol
psychogeriatricians
Does your mother have a psychogeriatrician (re local mental health unit) I would have though that she would have one as who would have diagnosed her originally with dementia. Can you make contact with them asap and explain what is happening? Her system and chemicals must be all over the place, poor thing, especially with the urinary infection. Poor you as well. Hospitals for people with dementia are very difficult places, it is very stressful for the relatives who seem to have to be the ones that seem to have to co-ordinate the care, getting all the professionals from different services to speak to one another. In my mum's case when she was in hospital the local mental health unit and her psychogeriatrician were very helpful, they stepped in and seemed to co-ordinate things and in the end mum got a lot better. Good luck.
Does your mother have a psychogeriatrician (re local mental health unit) I would have though that she would have one as who would have diagnosed her originally with dementia. Can you make contact with them asap and explain what is happening? Her system and chemicals must be all over the place, poor thing, especially with the urinary infection. Poor you as well. Hospitals for people with dementia are very difficult places, it is very stressful for the relatives who seem to have to be the ones that seem to have to co-ordinate the care, getting all the professionals from different services to speak to one another. In my mum's case when she was in hospital the local mental health unit and her psychogeriatrician were very helpful, they stepped in and seemed to co-ordinate things and in the end mum got a lot better. Good luck.
Hi Carolann
Reading your Post reminded me of when my mother, with AD was admitted to hospital with shingles.
When we went to see her, she was lying in a bed with sides, with one leg dangling over the side. She was in a side room and the door was left open. This obviously was for supervision, but it also afforded her no dignity, as anyone passing could see in, and as her bed was facing the door, could see everything.
It was so upsetting and, although I have tremendous respect and regard for nurses, was made even more upsetting by a group of nurses sitting round a table, having a good laugh and chat, while my poor mother was by herself, in isolation.
I complained to the NHS TRust and the matter was investigated. There was no conclusion, but I received an apology and it didn`t happen again. The next time we went, the situation was much improved.
However wonderful nursing staff are, there are always exceptions and as our poor demented can`t speak for themselves, we must speak on their behalf.
I hope the situation improves for you and your mother.
Grannie G
Reading your Post reminded me of when my mother, with AD was admitted to hospital with shingles.
When we went to see her, she was lying in a bed with sides, with one leg dangling over the side. She was in a side room and the door was left open. This obviously was for supervision, but it also afforded her no dignity, as anyone passing could see in, and as her bed was facing the door, could see everything.
It was so upsetting and, although I have tremendous respect and regard for nurses, was made even more upsetting by a group of nurses sitting round a table, having a good laugh and chat, while my poor mother was by herself, in isolation.
I complained to the NHS TRust and the matter was investigated. There was no conclusion, but I received an apology and it didn`t happen again. The next time we went, the situation was much improved.
However wonderful nursing staff are, there are always exceptions and as our poor demented can`t speak for themselves, we must speak on their behalf.
I hope the situation improves for you and your mother.
Grannie G
Hi,
My Mum is under a Doctor at the local Mental Health Unit, and either him or his colleague has seen her today but they won't take the case off the Medical Doctors until her UTI is completely cleared, but this won't clear as she is taking no medication whatsover. Thank you all for your interest.
Take care,
Carol
My Mum is under a Doctor at the local Mental Health Unit, and either him or his colleague has seen her today but they won't take the case off the Medical Doctors until her UTI is completely cleared, but this won't clear as she is taking no medication whatsover. Thank you all for your interest.
Take care,
Carol