DESPERATE any advice please?

Discussion in 'Middle - later stages of dementia' started by snowygirl, Sep 2, 2015.

  1. snowygirl

    snowygirl Registered User

    Jan 9, 2014
    151
    Hi all

    Im going to try to keep this as short as I can but I feel my family and I are at crisis point right now in the care of mum and dad and we need advice.

    Dad was taken to respite two weeks ago on the advice of the Mental Health Unit in order to give my mum a break(she has dementia too)and because 'someone' witnessed them arguing. It was promised to be two weeks only whilst they monitored dad and got him back on an even keal with his medication. Mum has been left alone these past two weeks with no-one from the Mental Health Unit checking on her and now missing dad terribly. WEve now been told dad will not be coming home tomorrow as he has been deemed as in 'Assessment' as opposed to 'respite' and until SS who have been contacted can do an Individual needs assessment on mum and dad.

    My question is can they keep dad there in respite while this assessment is going on? shouldn't he be assessed by SS in his own home? We have all sorts of plans to help mum and dad stay together including carers that we have just arranged. Can they keep dad there for longer than the two weeks? He wasn't sectioned or anything?
    Please help I'm desperate to understand our position.
     
  2. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,963
    North East England
    Hi, I can't give you much help because I have never had to experience this..but I think that the assessment is needed. I'm hopeful that the whole situation will be considered. They will be looking at how Dad has been during his respite as well as the home situation and will be in discussion with both Mum's and Dad's Mental Health workers.
    I think that they can seek a DOLs ( deprivation of libery) or a BI ( best interests) meeting if they feel that Dad would be better cared for in residential care.

    Talk to the CH Manager, and the SW and their GP, find out what you can. Take Mum to visit Dad too, if you can. She needs to see that he is being looked after.

    Hopefully more people will come and give you better answers if this gets bumped up.
    Take care.x.x.
     
  3. snowygirl

    snowygirl Registered User

    Jan 9, 2014
    151
    Thanks I'm taking mum to see dad tomorrow as she thinks he will be missing her but we have no idea really do we? I'm wondering now if we were amiss at not getting LPA for health and welfare but as a family we didn't think things would go this way and that we would have more say in the situation:(
     
  4. Anon02

    Anon02 Registered User

    Jul 25, 2013
    3
    Hello - the hospital should have a vulnerable person liaison point of contact. they are extremely knowledable and deal with this type of dilemma all the time. If necessary they will intervene and act for your parents. Have been in this position and it is frustrating and really stressful. Another point of help might be your Mother s dementia nurse. She may be able to assist you better. I was also told Admiral Nurses are great but they don't operate in my area - you could try to see if they operate in your area.
     

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