1. mazowe

    mazowe Registered User

    May 2, 2015
    9
    I am in despair. OH is in the early stages of diagnosis. There have been issues at home for the last year, but especially last six months with losing things, forgetfulness, stomach problems. He put it all down to "getting old" or with the stomach problems, the attributed that to "his medications". Just before Christmas , Moods were another thing - he has always been so gentle and considerate but things became very volatile and I had to go to another room, rather than inflaming the situation.

    I ended up doing a letter to the GP citing examples and saying I was worried and please could they call him in, as he refused to go. Another thing that really sparked my concerns was that he has 5 different lots of meds (BP, cholesterol and prostate) and should only have 2 moths supply of each. At beginning of December, I offered to count up how many he had, to ensure he had sufficient supplies to take him through the Festive Season. Two tabs, he was short of, but the rest, he had enough to keep him going through to March - and one lot, enough to keep him going through to May. A few days after picking them up, he was saying he needed to get more as he had run out. I managed to avert this - it turned out he had forgotten where he had put the new tablets, even though they were in a prominent place.

    The GP did oblige and he was called in - the appointment was last week. He has clammed up about what was said (still in denial) but did say that he has issues with short-term memory. He has to go for a blood test next week. Now, today, I was checking the amount of tablets he has, as according to my calculations, some should be getting low and he would need some more to be ordered. I was utterly dismayed to find that for all of them, he had an extra fortnight's supply than he should have. He hasn't got any more since I did the last count, which indicates to me that he hasn't taken them daily as he should have. He will not let me help him manage with his daily management - and was even talking of submitting his prescription for more. I told himj that he did not need any more for at least a month.

    I really just don't know what I can do - I am trying not to be too nagging, and trying to keep an eye on things discreetly, to avoid more temper issues. I don't have anyone else to call on for help - I did think that his meds were giving him issues as the stomach problems have been evident over the last week. I am just in despair on how to handle the situation.
     
  2. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    Oh you poor love - this is so hard, isn't it? John was on 21 different tablets a day at one point, (he had a plethora of health problems), so I arranged for the chemist to put them in packs. Each pack was for one week's supply of medication. These were labelled with the days of the week, and 4 times of the day - morning, noon, afternoon, evening.

    To begin with, I collected them weekly, but they would then give them to me 4-weekly. I kept them out of John's sight, and I would give him the tablets. Some had to be taken with food, some before, and some after, and at least I knew what he was having.

    I hope this might be of help to you and wish you well. xxx
     
  3. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,489
    Female
    London
    I don't know where you live but where I am I couldn't simply ask for more meds on repeat unless they ran out. The doctor decides the supply, which is usually 4 weeks' worth, and our pharmacy has the prescriptions on their system, doing the rest. Some of them I have to order before they run out, but the dossette box with most of his meds in is usually produced automatically every 4 weeks. They would not give you 8 weeks just because you asked. The only exception is an "if and when needed" prescription of Doublebase for his skin.

    So why don't you pop into the pharmacy and ask what's going on? Surely they shouldn't just dish out meds nilly willy? Just say you would like to put in a routine as to when to collect his various meds to avoid overmedication.
     
  4. mazowe

    mazowe Registered User

    May 2, 2015
    9
    Many thanks for the responses and both contain tips that I would do, if OH would allow me to to help him, e.g. by allowing me to keep control of re-ordering his prescriptions. All of his meds are issued with 56 days supply at a time, but on the form, it seems to allow re-ordering after 28 days. Regrettably, although we are both at the same doctors practice, we are both allocated to different doctors - and my doctor is not very sympathetic or helpful. There doesn't appear to be an issue with over-prescribing, but there seem to be a problem with OH actually taking his meds each day. The fact that there is now 15 days extra of each tablet to me indicates that he has missed the odd day, but he is not going to put up with me standing over him whilst he takes them.

    apart from the fact that the doctor has told him he has issues with short-term memory, he still seems to be in denial that there is a problem, that I am worried and that I want to help. He has acknowledged he was/is worried about his memory, but he doesn't share his problems, particularly in relation to health.

    I suppose at the moment, it is all being aggravated by the fact that we attended the funeral of a mutual friend of ours this week - we got the news of their death a couple of weeks ago - and this person had died having had Alzheimers for about 4 years, and he was a similar age to OH.
     
  5. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    i know it is very different but with my mum in the end I just said that the doctor said I must do the tablets or they would send a carer in. She gave in but I had to be really firm and not back down. Then it was pretty easy. Mostly didn't need to nag just put them in an egg cup at the breakfast table and evening meal and she took them herself but I could keep checking

    That might not be any help but it worked for us, after a short while of protesting she forgot it had ever been done any other way.
    I also collected meds under the same pretext and hid them week by week
     
  6. Sue J

    Sue J Registered User

    Dec 9, 2009
    8,042
    Could you speak to your pharmacy, some of ours collect prescriptions regularly from the surgery but you have to have it set up between surgery and pharmacy. Maybe you could ask his GP to prescribe a dosette box under the premise its something they offer to most people with memory problems automatically, I really think it should be;) from the outset of someone reporting symptoms to GP - it would avoid the many problems people have with taking their tablets and help them keep some confidence in taking tablets.

    I hope you manage to get something sorted that helps.

    Best wishes
    Sue:)
     
  7. rhubarbtree

    rhubarbtree Registered User

    Jan 7, 2015
    439
    North West
    Hi Mazowe, In a very similar situation to you, perhaps a few months further along the line. Losing things, looking for them (opening and closing doors/drawers) and medicine muddles. Think my OH is scared and panics. Whatever he thinks needs doing must be done straight away, ordering meds, going to library, dry-cleaners. Would be rushing around all day if I didn't intervene. On the meds front, like you I came to realise he wasn't taking these correctly. He either missed completely or took two doses. I insisted on taking over especially when Aricept for the Alzheimer's came into the mix. Only the slightest resistance and one less thing for him to worry about. Of course it is another thing for me to be responsible for.

    As for going to the doctor alone, afraid it will only involve you going along later to find out what is going on. On one occasion OH went to get his ears syringed and came back, unsyringed, with a letter for eye specialist!

    But the moods, resentment, grudges, they're the hardest to bear. This thing takes over both lives. Think you are going to have to muscle in on the organisational side. Perhaps swap chores i.e. supervising meds for hoovering.

    Much understanding and empathy.
     
  8. Alicenutter

    Alicenutter Registered User

    Aug 29, 2015
    560
    Massachusetts USA
    It sounds very familiar. Make sure YOU stay safe. My husband manages his own medications himself by ticking them off on a printed sheet that I made on the computer. He writes down the times when he takes them. That way, I can discreetly check, and remind him. Sometimes I go "Oh, s***, I forgot take my pill" and that acts as a prompt for him. Wouldn't work for everybody I know, and probably won't work for ever... Don't despair (too much)
     
  9. theoh

    theoh Registered User

    Nov 11, 2015
    24
    this seems to be a common problem. My OH wont take his pills. I have a weekly pill box thingy which I load up. He wont take them for his Carer, hiding them in tissues in his pockets, then they drop on the floor and our cats eat them! He has always been bad at pill taking as has been on BP for years long by memory issues.

    I try and make light of it, saying I will line him up with the dog to get his pills. Also the pills are put on the table in a little jar at the start of our evening meal so he has to take them after dinner.

    I find explaining what each pill does to help him helps him a lot in taking them as it makes him part of the decision making (even if I do get them muddled up sometimes! - what they do not what he takes!
     

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