Hi I have not contributed to talking point for a while now but have been reading peoples problems and experiences and felt I reached a point where you run out of things to help and just feel despair. My mum has been in the emi nursing home for 15 months now after a unsettling 8 months in a psychiatric ward after sectioning. Before the dementia my mum has always been someone who was suspicious of peoples intentions and very quick tempered, aggressive. When she started to show symptoms of this disease these behaviours just increased. She never gives up and never stands down. She has always been someone who will not give in and if she had to she would sulk for days. When she was put in the emi unit she just would not settle and constant questioning about going home or going on holiday. We tried taking her away etc when she was at home and it did not work as she would then want to go home. Because my brother and sister and brother in law have been an absolute nightmare to deal with, my mum was suffering. When we were young she was fiery and has hit people because she felt they were wrong. I can recall a time when my parents were in a pub and she ripped out a ladies earrings because she said lady tried to stamp on her foot over a pub stool! My dad and cousin had to pull her off and this lady was nearly 6foot and my mum is only 4ft 7". Well we have had a few incidences in the home where mum has attacked the residents because she thinks they are doing something or looking at her funny or they simply get on her nerves. The nurse phoned me yesterday to say that mum likes to be on her own all the time and will not participate in anything and they have to watch her if she goes into the lounge and walks down the corridor back to her room and if there are other residents near her. Well they didn't watch her and she violently attacked another lady scratching her face and they had trouble pulling her off. The nurse said it has been reported to the family and they are going to request the mental health team assess her. The nurse says she constantly wants to die (she says this to me to). Mum is able to feed, dress, communicate her feelings and very miserable. I wonder if they are going to take her out of the home back into the hospital. I am her only daughter that visits and my brother and sister never visit (another story). I know she is missing them but they have caused so much trouble and threats and I am not going to contact them. My brother is narcistic and very unpredictable. The staff are scared of him and to be honest I know mum misses him but he is seriously incapable of feeling empathy and used emotional abuse on mum before she went to hospital. I am wondering whether mum has a hidden mental illness and also my brother who is also paranoid about people and makes up lies about people. I do not have the answers and feel powerless to help my mum and if my siblings start to visit I know that I would walk away as the pain my husband and I had to endure when mum first became ill fell on deaf ears in every organisation. Even the police did not want to get involved. I have coped so far but as mums aggression is increasing I can feel the resentment in visiting. Sorry for this off load.