Depression

Linda G

Registered User
Oct 23, 2017
56
0
I would appreciate any advice regarding depression. The further we go down this path of Alzheimer’s the more I find myself getting very weepy with the feeling that my life is over. I would like to know the opinions of others regarding medication from the doctor. I am fearful of getting addicted to drugs but know how depressed I feel. I have to admit that after a bad day today I found myself having a few sneaky alcoholic drinks to help with the depression . This worries me as I have seen alcohol dependency within the family and it frightens me to go down this road. My other half was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s five years ago and on the whole have been coping ok. The last few months I have noticed a deterioration in my OH and it is really hitting me hard. I would very much appreciate any thoughts and advice please.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
2,967
0
cornwall
I would appreciate any advice regarding depression. The further we go down this path of Alzheimer’s the more I find myself getting very weepy with the feeling that my life is over. I would like to know the opinions of others regarding medication from the doctor. I am fearful of getting addicted to drugs but know how depressed I feel. I have to admit that after a bad day today I found myself having a few sneaky alcoholic drinks to help with the depression . This worries me as I have seen alcohol dependency within the family and it frightens me to go down this road. My other half was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s five years ago and on the whole have been coping ok. The last few months I have noticed a deterioration in my OH and it is really hitting me hard. I would very much appreciate any thoughts and advice please.
Hi. My dad has Vascular Dementia but suffers from depression as well. He was prescribed Mirtazapine for night time to help him settle at night. His moods have improved as well.Maybe seeing the GP for a medication review will help?
 

Vitesse

Registered User
Oct 26, 2016
261
0
I would appreciate any advice regarding depression. The further we go down this path of Alzheimer’s the more I find myself getting very weepy with the feeling that my life is over. I would like to know the opinions of others regarding medication from the doctor. I am fearful of getting addicted to drugs but know how depressed I feel. I have to admit that after a bad day today I found myself having a few sneaky alcoholic drinks to help with the depression . This worries me as I have seen alcohol dependency within the family and it frightens me to go down this road. My other half was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s five years ago and on the whole have been coping ok. The last few months I have noticed a deterioration in my OH and it is really hitting me hard. I would very much appreciate any thoughts and advice please.
I have felt exactly the same for many months. My GP and my husbands psychiatrist both kept telling me that I should think about antidepressants, and I resisted for a long time. My mother had become dependent on medication when she was alive, and it bothered me about becoming dependent. My GP told me that modern medication is not addictive in the same way, but I hear reports on the radio of people not being able to get off them. However, as things have become harder and harder I have had to give in and try something. My GP prescribed a very low dose of Antidepressant (10mg) and they have made a difference. Other doctors have said I should increase the dose but I am not planning to do that. I still have plenty of very bad days, but I also have lots of better ones. I don’t think I could have gone on as I was. Alcohol mustn't be the answer!!!
 

Shedrech

Registered User
Dec 15, 2012
12,649
0
UK
hi @Linda G
do go and have a chat with your GP both about how you feel and what you have noticed with your OH ... there may be meds or something to help you both
it would be better to have a course of meds supervised by your GP than turn to alcohol, surely
you sound tired ... have you some support in place to give you a break eg day care orvrespite?
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
2,967
0
cornwall
Hi. My dad has Vascular Dementia but suffers from depression as well. He was prescribed Mirtazapine for night time to help him settle at night. His moods have improved as well.Maybe seeing the GP for a medication review will help?
Sorry I got the wrong end of the stick there. But I think you do need to see the doctor.As you know alcohol is a depressant so is not likely to help your mood...
 

Ponddweller

Registered User
Jun 20, 2019
80
0
Hi @Linda G I think it’s definitely worth going to talk to your GP, and if you dont think you’ve been listened to properly, see a different one. You guys who are long term carers are under stress and pressure unimaginable to most people. Whatever the GP suggests has got to be better than alcohol. I’m not ashamed to admit that I wound up at the GP on Christmas Eve because I was having panic attacks (different situation to the daily grind, it’s the long distance anxiety of not knowing when the phone will suddenly go with a crisis) and was prescribed with small amount of meds. Just having them and being listened to helped enormously. I’m also starting therapy. Just talk to them. They can’t help if they don’t know.
 

Linda G

Registered User
Oct 23, 2017
56
0
I have felt exactly the same for many months. My GP and my husbands psychiatrist both kept telling me that I should think about antidepressants, and I resisted for a long time. My mother had become dependent on medication when she was alive, and it bothered me about becoming dependent. My GP told me that modern medication is not addictive in the same way, but I hear reports on the radio of people not being able to get off them. However, as things have become harder and harder I have had to give in and try something. My GP prescribed a very low dose of Antidepressant (10mg) and they have made a difference. Other doctors have said I should increase the dose but I am not planning to do that. I still have plenty of very bad days, but I also have lots of better ones. I don’t think I could have gone on as I was. Alcohol mustn't be the answer!!!
Thank you for your response. I will definitely make an appointment to see the doctor. I have been fighting it as I was concerned about becoming addicted to anything, but realise that it is not worth feeling so miserable. It breaks my heart to see my dearly loved husband disappearing before my eyes, but like all of us carers we cannot change what is happening so need to find best ways to cope with it.
I have felt exactly the same for many months. My GP and my husbands psychiatrist both kept telling me that I should think about antidepressants, and I resisted for a long time. My mother had become dependent on medication when she was alive, and it bothered me about becoming dependent. My GP told me that modern medication is not addictive in the same way, but I hear reports on the radio of people not being able to get off them. However, as things have become harder and harder I have had to give in and try something. My GP prescribed a very low dose of Antidepressant (10mg) and they have made a difference. Other doctors have said I should increase the dose but I am not planning to do that. I still have plenty of very bad days, but I also have lots of better ones. I don’t think I could have gone on as I was. Alcohol mustn't be the answer!!!
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,444
0
Kent
Hello @Linda G

Carers I know who have taken antidepressants have been monitored carefully by their doctors to prevent addiction.

From what I hear, I think the medication is more gentle and less harmful.

When you go to your doctor tell them how you feel about becoming addicted and I hope you will be reassured.
 

Linda G

Registered User
Oct 23, 2017
56
0
hi @Linda G
do go and have a chat with your GP both about how you feel and what you have noticed with your OH ... there may be meds or something to help you both
it would be better to have a course of meds supervised by your GP than turn to alcohol, surely
you sound tired ... have you some support in place to give you a break eg day care orvrespite?
I will go and talk to my GP. I have a son and daughter and some good friends but I am very independent and don’t voice my concerns to them. This is probably my problem, I bottle up my emotions. My OH can still be left at home watching the tv while I escape to my art class for a couple of hours so I do get a bit of time away from it. I do find him watching out for me, so not sure how long this will last.
 

Linda G

Registered User
Oct 23, 2017
56
0
Hi @Linda G I think it’s definitely worth going to talk to your GP, and if you dont think you’ve been listened to properly, see a different one. You guys who are long term carers are under stress and pressure unimaginable to most people. Whatever the GP suggests has got to be better than alcohol. I’m not ashamed to admit that I wound up at the GP on Christmas Eve because I was having panic attacks (different situation to the daily grind, it’s the long distance anxiety of not knowing when the phone will suddenly go with a crisis) and was prescribed with small amount of meds. Just having them and being listened to helped enormously. I’m also starting therapy. Just talk to them. They can’t help if they don’t know.
Thank you. I will do so.
 

Alice nun

Registered User
Jul 9, 2017
47
0
Linda you
Really are so amazing mother
And wife
Reading your post made me jump up
Please please remember that
The depression you are feeling is because of your situation and what you have to deal with and i totally understand putting on a brave face for your children
I do that every day but am falling apart
I don’t think I am depressed
I feel that it’s only the situation that makes me so low my advice is to keep talking
Here keep talking you might find
A way forward
I have a drink also and make
Out it’s all perfect
To our children
I always think the world is so beautiful
It’s only what we have to deal with this Ian no making of our own.
It’s been said to me go to the doctors and get antidepressants your depressed
I don’t feel I am at all I just hate my life the way it is.
Be easy on the drink and kind to you
And remember it’s your situation that is making you depressed
Take a step back and make a plan
For you be kind to yourself now
Thank you for your post
X
Alice
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
4,333
0
Victoria, Australia
I know where your u are coming from and the timeline for your caring is much the same as mine. I tried counselling but gave up when what I wanted seemed to take a back seat to the ideas of the psychologist. I have been taken an antidepressant for a long time now and at my age, I don't care if I become addicted.

However, I did get a lot of help from a book called 'Lost Connections' by Johan Hari. I think now I have disappeared into a state of resignation which isn't a joyful place but a safe place.
 

Vitesse

Registered User
Oct 26, 2016
261
0
Thank you for your response. I will definitely make an appointment to see the doctor. I have been fighting it as I was concerned about becoming addicted to anything, but realise that it is not worth feeling so miserable. It breaks my heart to see my dearly loved husband disappearing before my eyes, but like all of us carers we cannot change what is happening so need to find best ways to cope with it.
The other thing I forgot to say earlier, is don’t forget that the PWD responds to your mood. When I was really bad, my husband would get more and more verbally aggressive, so we ended up arguing a lot. At the same time that I started taking antidepressants, the psychiatrist prescribed Mirtazipine for my husband and that quietened him down also. Now that I feel better, he is much calmer and life is easier. He still has really difficult days, when I feel I can’t go on, but mostly things are much quieter. I would say, give it a go!!
 

jenniferjean

Registered User
Apr 2, 2016
925
0
Basingstoke, Hampshire
I have a son and daughter and some good friends but I am very independent and don’t voice my concerns to them. This is probably my problem, I bottle up my emotions.
I am the same. My daughter and my friends believe I am coping admirably and I am often told that I am coping really well. So it's my own fault that I don't get any help there.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
7,342
0
Nottinghamshire
@Linda G. I have a friend who is going through a hard time at the moment and she has been prescribed anti depressants by her GP. She describes the effect they have as like being “Teflon coated” in that the problems are still there but they bounce off without causing much distress.

My daughter and I take either St Johns Wort or Stress Relief tablets from Wilkos depending on wether it’s depression or anxiety and they do help take the edge off things.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
I have recently reached carers breakdown and became incapable of looking after OH. He had to move to a care home for 2 months respite and I am now on antidepressants. I know that I wouldnt be able to cope without them and Ill deal with coming off them later. At the moment Im just trying to arrange things for when OH comes home again.
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
679
0
Depression is a clinical illness, real depression does need to be treated with anti-depressants but if it's just the situation that is making you depressed @Linda G and you are cheerful when out of the situation then perhaps you need to approach it some other way. I have also found myself having the odd alcoholic drink after a particularly stressful day but try not to because it doesn't help get a good nights sleep (which is essential). I had a particularly depressed time in January last year and went to the GP, I said I didn't want pills so they sent me for some cognitive therapy and actually I realised from that that I wasn't genuinely depressed, it was the situation I was in. I got myself a part-time job and some carers in and felt a lot better, but of course there are times when I'm still depressed to be in this situation and to see my partner deteriorating all the time. It's true what others have said that you PWD reflects your moods, I see it time and again and have to try to keep calm, not get angry with him, keep cheerful, otherwise it's counter productive - but it's really not easy!! He is deteriorating to an extent that I tried to give up work and become a (nearly) full time carer but it doesn't work for me so, I have another job starting soon and lots of (expensive) care for him - it may turn out to be too stressful coping with work and everything else - let's see.
 

ebas

Registered User
Aug 8, 2019
87
0
I have recently reached carers breakdown and became incapable of looking after OH. He had to move to a care home for 2 months respite and I am now on antidepressants. I know that I wouldnt be able to cope without them and Ill deal with coming off them later. At the moment Im just trying to arrange things for when OH comes home again.
I know exactly how you feel. I was almost at breakdown point at the beginning of December when my OH went into hospital.He came home last Friday.Monday he was agitated &violent & Monday evening he pulled his catheter out.Back to the main hospital.I told them I couldn't cope anymore.Just had a phone call from the discharge nurse to say he is being transferred back to the community hospital prior to discharge.I told her I couldn't cope any more.I have been up all night with"the runs".I know its only stress that is causing it
 

Buteo

Registered User
Mar 20, 2019
83
0
I found that anti-depressants helped me to continue as a carer, but I know they aren't the only answer and I am seeking counselling to help me manage too, so that I can eventually give up the drugs.
 

Vitesse

Registered User
Oct 26, 2016
261
0
I found that anti-depressants helped me to continue as a carer, but I know they aren't the only answer and I am seeking counselling to help me manage too, so that I can eventually give up the drugs.
Counselling would be a good option. My GP gave me details of a local counselling service, but I can’t leave my husband and can’t take him with me to counselling, so I was limited. It’s not a question of paying for carers, he won’t have them and he has also refused to go to Day Centre.
 

Forum statistics

Threads
138,135
Messages
1,993,257
Members
89,791
Latest member
debbie1968