1. Michael E

    Michael E Registered User

    Apr 14, 2005
    619
    Male
    Ronda Spain
    Monique is very depressed these last days - does not want to get up - out of bed - thinks life is pointless and boring. When I try to persuade her to get dressed she just asks what's the point? What is there to do? She has also returned to the desire to return to the UK - London where life is 'better'. I must say she finds little pleasure in anything.

    I wonder if this is perhaps all part of the Exiba effect - she is now on full dosage - making it clearer in her mind that her life is a mess - without reason or meaning.... that seems to be her reasons for being depressed or she is just depressed and this expresses the depression - does the 11.55 leave Paddington or does Paddington leave the ...

    Did a web search to see if depression was a side effect of this drug but depression is not mentioned. Mind you she is also started a cholesterol reducing drug so who knows?

    Not quite sure where to go from here... Maybe a visit to the doctor.. Give it a day or two - maybe this is just a progression of the un-natural order...

    Just had the first bit of French Social Security help - I have a young lady - not a nurse but from an agency that is supported by the SS who have people to 'assist' folks with AD or similar... the deal is she comes in for 4 hours one day a week, does a little light cleaning and keeps the 'patient' company enabling me to get out of the house for more than just half an hour or so.... She could come in for an hour a day or similar.... She kept monique company yesterday PM - did not do any cleaning but I was able to go and play - Monique asked who that woman was but otherwise seems no worse for the visit... The GP thinks I should get her used to having strange people in the house as it will happen more in the future...
    The state subsidises this visit but it still costs me 12 €Euro an hour - €48 Euro for my half day of liberty = £32 UK pounds ---- does a similar system happen in the UK?

    There is the possibility of social security nurse, who will come in daily for free, when events get to that stage. No problem the GP assured me sending me off to the SS... Like the 'subsidised' home help it was not that easy. I was told at the very friendly SS department - the town has nurses to look after 50 people in the mornings - there are currently 56 needing this help so there is a waiting list of 6 - waiting for 6 of the 50 to die!!! All that glistens is not gold is it...

    I get the feeling, from others posts, that it is a similar (or worse??) situation in the UK to where Monique tells me she wishes to return - Trouble with that wish is that the 'things' she has been obsessed (?) with in the past have given her little or no pleasure when I have made the desire happen.... Can sell up and return but will it really help??? Bound to disappoint her as she wants to go back to a situation that I know no longer exists and I cannot think how to recreate it for her.. Impossible probably but maybe it really would make her happier - Maybe we should try it - and I am good at desision making - well I was..

    Sorry - just sort of chuntering on - got the blues myself a bit - catching - and not quite sure which way is up.
     
  2. jc141265

    jc141265 Registered User

    Sep 16, 2005
    836
    Australia
    Carer help in Australia

    On topic of help available, for those in Australia, where we are the 'Blue Nurses' organisation offered a certain amount of free care, like the kind Michael is talking about, someone to come in and look after your loved one so you can escape for a bit, my mum had trouble letting go and lived too far away from anyone to really benefit from this (by the time she drove to town it was time to come back) but she did benefit from having someone come to the house and help out and more so someone who could give her some emotional support, a 'grown up' she could talk to. Ask your GP or ring the Blue Nurses ( I am not sure if they are in all states), I've seen ads for this kind of help in just the normal GP's waiting room.

    Michael , my thought are with you as mentioned previously...
     
  3. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Hi Michael
    I recognise this stage, and it may not be the medication at all. Depression is the bedfellow of dementia - often depression is the first diagnosis that is made. It is very difficult not to get dragged down as well.

    Certainly it is worth trying to see if anything can be done to relieve her anguish.
    The problem is, as you realise, that it most likely wouldn't be better. Monique is harking back to a time past and I think to return would cause yet more confusion and depression.
    This I found to be one of the most frustrating things. Jan was like this and I would have done anything, paid anything, to give her even the least bit of pleasure. I found that the pleasures came few and far between. They changed from major things to 'a nice bit of cake' or something small like that.

    Find the small things......
    Keep posting here - we may not be able to help much but we all empathise SO much!
     
  4. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    639
    West Sussex
    Hello Michael

    I am sorry your Monique is so depressed at the moment. I too think it is yet another step along the alzheimers road and it hopefully won't last too long.

    As for wanting to return to London, Mum, when feeling low asks to go home, although she has no idea where that is.

    As children and adults when we are poorly or miserable we want to get home where we feel safer and more at ease, but with alzheimers there is no such place to go.

    I really hope you both feel brighter soon.

    Kathleen
    xx
     
  5. Stimpfig

    Stimpfig Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    135
    Germany/India
    Hi Michael

    I gave in to my mother's wishes of Monique's kind several times - not to mention long flights across continents, train journeys in a large and complicated country like India, to visit places and people she wanted . My friends back home think I am spoiling mum and treating her like a queen. :p Familiar sights and sounds did help. I did a little experiment - gave her a medicine holiday and surprisingly, she did pretty well for 12 weeks without medication but she needed me around all the time. Without me, it was back to square 1. Still, in a period of time, she would forget the visits and the time and effort it all cost me. I fell seriously ill last year and decided I had to stop this kind of 'pampering'.

    If you sell up and if it won't be the same again for Monique in UK, then would it be worth it? A short holiday to where she wishes to go might actually give you a better insight into how she might react.

    Take care,

    Sue Stimpfig
     
  6. Michael E

    Michael E Registered User

    Apr 14, 2005
    619
    Male
    Ronda Spain
    Just want to say thank you all for the replies - just had the blues yesterday and could not see the way - I would really like to do something to make Monique's life better - more fun - but really there is not much available in the cupboard...

    I am sure you are right Kathleen - I know I have to make the France thing work as moving back would not affect things - they would still be wrong and the moving would be even worse - she finds it so hard to cope with challenges - but still manages to send me up when I get to pompous!!! or controlling!!!!!

    Sue you are right - travel is a bit of a problem - really looking forward to the horrors of the next trip to London - I have some property there (my pension) and every so often things go wrong and I take Monique on Ryan Air. She is like good wine - does not travel well!!! Although the importance of the trips makes it easier and in some way she grasps that we have to do it... Likes it when we get there .... but the actual travelling is a bit tense...

    Am still wondering about the drugs... She seems different... You could be right Bruce - but the anti depressants were working till recently - going to give it a few more days then hit the Doc with it - part of the problem is I still have a bit of a language barrier and talking in front of Monique without admitting she has anything serious is quite a challenge.

    Anyway folks - thanks for all the posts - Nat thanks for the mail - make me feel less isolated - and that's great....
     
  7. jc141265

    jc141265 Registered User

    Sep 16, 2005
    836
    Australia
    Just wanted to back up Michael's observation, this may not be just the usual depression, but as Michael said it may not be the drug either, it could be a combination of the increased awareness coming from the drug...

    Reason I say this is that we saw pretty much exactly the same effect as Michael has seen with Monique, with Dad when he began taking Ebixa.
     
  8. Michael E

    Michael E Registered User

    Apr 14, 2005
    619
    Male
    Ronda Spain
    Nada hi,
    Thanks for the fact sheet - very informative - rang some bells - withdrawn is never a word I took much interest in till now!
    regards
    Michael
     
  9. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,947
    Female
    Dundee
    Re the depression - my husband is on Aricept but he also takes something called 'Cipralex' (Escitalopram - 10mg) every morning. This has made a big difference to his depression - we went through a really bad patch but this has made such a difference. Don't know if this is any help to you!

    Izzy
     
  10. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Hi Micheal

    Quote
    I must say she finds little pleasure in anything
    .

    I note the comments by Bruce and he is spot on.
    I too would give Peg anything,I would get anything that I thought would please her.
    Flowers don't seem to work anymore,clothes no, different sorts of food generally, no.
    The only things that seem to give her pleasure are chocolate ,biscuits and going to bed.
    As Bruce said small little treats.
    Hope you are feeling better
    Norman
     

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