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Depressing state of Social Care.

Yesilkedi

New member
Feb 25, 2020
2
Hi, I am a new member but have been reading posts for a while now as my mum has dementia. It's been difficult for the last 5 years but between my sister and I we have coped. It became evident last year that we could no longer manage and after a spell in hospital mum was sent home with carers, but unfortunately that didn't work out as she wouldn't accept that she needed the help. After 2 more spells in hospItal Social Services accepted that a care home was the only option now. Because we didn't have immediate access to her funds (I was in the process of applying for Deputyship) SS found her the only space available out of the borough. My daughter and I went to visit yesterday and I was truly shocked at just how awful the place was. The staff are lovely but the home itself leaves so much to be desired, shabby,smelly, little in the way of activities going on and just so depressing. We were told that she has one of the best bedrooms, but if that's the best what are the others like? My mum has the financial resources to buy good care and we will get her out of there asap but I feel.for the people who are just dumped in a home that really will not help with their complex conditions. This has really opened my eyes to how bad social.care is in this country. I can speak.up.for my mum but what about those who have no one to be their voice?
Thank you for allowing me my rant, it's good to get this off my chest.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,455
N Ireland
Hello and welcome to the forum @Yesilkedi.

Feel free to rant as that's one of the reasons for the existence of the forum.

Now that you have found us I hope you will keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
 

rmabo

Registered User
May 19, 2019
25
I hear you and you're perfectly in the right to rant about this. I can't even stand the idea of these 'shabby' places you describe - 'mourroirs' they are called in france 'places to die'. Horrific.

I'm glad you will be able to move your mum asap. Personally, I lived in the UK and moved her to a place in spain because since there was a shock in the 'moving process' I thought i might as well move her to a place where the weather didn't suck and warm sunny days would cheer her up a bit.

Thanks for sharing.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,254
South coast
Im sorry your mum is in a very depressing place. Mind you, when you first go into a dementia care home it can be a bit of a culture shock. I wouldnt be prepared to accept a place that smelled of urine, but the place my mum was in was shabby, but clean, and the care was excellent - mum was very happy there. I have good memories of the time she was there. As someone said to me - better good care in a shabby building, than poor care in a beautiful one. Many of these places have wonderful looking facilities, but low staff ratios and consequently they can only cope with the easy dementia. Often, anyone who becomes the least bit difficult will be given notice.

Do have a look around, but try to see beyond the decore and do ask whether they will accept the LA rate. If they wont, then you would have to pay a top up fee and this will increase each year and may become onerous.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,672
North West
My mum has the financial resources to buy good care and we will get her out of there asap but I feel.for the people who are just dumped in a home that really will not help with their complex conditions. This has really opened my eyes to how bad social.care is in this country. I can speak.up.for my mum but what about those who have no one to be their voice?
We collectively are their voice, just by posting on here you have raised awareness of just how dire things can be for people that have no advocate :)

Care homes are strange places and I have learned an awful lot being on the receiving end of care over the last 5 months. The most important thing about a CH is the staff and how they care for residnets and not so much the glam of the wall paper or how designer a room is to varying degrees -things that appeal to materialists (if I am honest).

Mums first CH was lovely with a fab decor, but the care staff were shockingly bad and yes words were had! Mums current CH is not Buckingham Palace by any means, but the staff are amazingly brilliant and they see the positives in mum, not the negatives. I had searched several care homes when mum had to be moved and there was only one that really was 'dire' in every way imaginable.

The other thing to think about is that some PWD may be happy in a place that others ,might not think suitable -its a tricky business reading the lay of the land in a CH
 
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Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,387
Nottinghamshire
I agree. My dad’s carehome he was put in by social services was dated and depressing to my eyes and I couldn’t wait to get him out but, once he settled, I soon realised that the staff were wonderful and it was the right place for my dad.
 

nellbelles

Volunteer Host
Nov 6, 2008
8,712
leicester
The CH my husband was in was a bit shabby but the level of care was excellent you need to see the level of staff to residents to help you understand the actual level of care