Hello all
My mum in,law is 83 and we believe, as a family, that she has early dementia. This has been the case for several years. She did attend a mental health clinic some years ago but was dead against it throughout as she denied there was anything wrong, then we think she has been cancelling appointments without apps knowing and in the end the clinic discharged her, which she took to mean she was ok. Then she went to a health check with the practice nurse a couple of years ago. The family wrote a letter to the GP detailing our concerns and asking if the health check could be geared towards this problem, her husband went with her, but she apparently performed pretty well and the nurse did nothing. It’s obviously difficult to say anything about her problem in front of her. Over the last couple of years it has got worse. Short term memory is completely shot, she repeats constantly dozens of times, she goes to the local shop and forgets what for and comes back with all sorts, won’t write a list as she says she can remember etc. She also has been known to buy a bottle of wines start it and then forget she has had a drink and keep going till the bottle is gone, she also did this with a bottle of brandy she managed to buy without hubby knowing and ended up in bed with hubby thinking she was having a stroke. She fabricated stuff in her head and dwells on random things that have happened, and gets things completely wrong. I could go on but I’m sure you get the picture. Current thing is that she has been invited back for another health check. Her Hubby is nearly 90 now and not so good so he asked me to make an appointments for her to go when I could be with her. She was against this and said she could manage on her own. I’ve made the appointment and will go if she lets me, but it will be hard to say anything in front of her. I’ve suggested to my sister in law that she tries to have a word with the nurse that will be seeing her, but of course she will probably refuse to do so with patient confidentiality and so on. SIL May have a letter ready in case. Question is what can we hope to gain by stirring things up in this way? Should we just leave we’ll alone and carry on coping with it as there is no way she will happily accept the problem and may well fall out with all of us if it pushed too far! She’s a lovely person and we are very close as I’ve been married to her eldest son for over 40 years, and she and I are never had a cross word. She trusts me and I don’t want that to change. Just not sure at this point what we would gain by going down this route. Any and all advice would be much appreciated and apologies for the long post. TIA.
My mum in,law is 83 and we believe, as a family, that she has early dementia. This has been the case for several years. She did attend a mental health clinic some years ago but was dead against it throughout as she denied there was anything wrong, then we think she has been cancelling appointments without apps knowing and in the end the clinic discharged her, which she took to mean she was ok. Then she went to a health check with the practice nurse a couple of years ago. The family wrote a letter to the GP detailing our concerns and asking if the health check could be geared towards this problem, her husband went with her, but she apparently performed pretty well and the nurse did nothing. It’s obviously difficult to say anything about her problem in front of her. Over the last couple of years it has got worse. Short term memory is completely shot, she repeats constantly dozens of times, she goes to the local shop and forgets what for and comes back with all sorts, won’t write a list as she says she can remember etc. She also has been known to buy a bottle of wines start it and then forget she has had a drink and keep going till the bottle is gone, she also did this with a bottle of brandy she managed to buy without hubby knowing and ended up in bed with hubby thinking she was having a stroke. She fabricated stuff in her head and dwells on random things that have happened, and gets things completely wrong. I could go on but I’m sure you get the picture. Current thing is that she has been invited back for another health check. Her Hubby is nearly 90 now and not so good so he asked me to make an appointments for her to go when I could be with her. She was against this and said she could manage on her own. I’ve made the appointment and will go if she lets me, but it will be hard to say anything in front of her. I’ve suggested to my sister in law that she tries to have a word with the nurse that will be seeing her, but of course she will probably refuse to do so with patient confidentiality and so on. SIL May have a letter ready in case. Question is what can we hope to gain by stirring things up in this way? Should we just leave we’ll alone and carry on coping with it as there is no way she will happily accept the problem and may well fall out with all of us if it pushed too far! She’s a lovely person and we are very close as I’ve been married to her eldest son for over 40 years, and she and I are never had a cross word. She trusts me and I don’t want that to change. Just not sure at this point what we would gain by going down this route. Any and all advice would be much appreciated and apologies for the long post. TIA.