I've been through a nightmare the last few months. I have taken a sabbatical from work as I was concerned about my Mums decline and ongoing UTI's and her safety. I've only been able to get home twice in the last five months to see my husband and family as I'm so far from home. My brother is in denial of how bad Mum is and I have had to get Social Care involved and eventually the mental health care team ( I didn't realise Social Care didn't communicate with the mental health care team) to assess Mum to tell him how bad she is and that she's not safe living here on her own! He only lives half an hour up the road from her and does precious little to help. He has given me no support since I have got here and queries /criticises everything I do. To the point he checks up with the Drs, therapists etc. as to what they've said even when I've told him! He doesn't seem interested in what is best for our Mum it appears to be more a case of trying to prove me wrong. His latest thing is that she has deteriated since I've been down here! So we had a meeting where the mental health team have stated that my Mum is not safe to live on her own. No surprise to me whatsoever I knew this before I came down but how sad that I have been put through all this because of my brother. This was the third meeting but one with care workers etc. involved. However now he doesn't want her to go into a care home near me he wants to have her near him. He has made no effort to look at homes despite me asking him to well over a month ago whereas I have looked at five. Social care were going on about as Mum has lived in this area it would be better for her to stay here. Surely as long as she is in a good home with plenty of visitors particularly as she has Alzheimer's does it matter where in the country she is?! My gut reaction is she would be better near me I could go in and shower her and she would get plenty of visits from myself and my family which is unlikely to happen here. I am however so stressed now I have been diagnosed with stress and depression and my hair has started to fall out. I don't think I can take much more. It has been hard enough to cope with Mum but it has been my brother that has and is causing all the stress. I am on Mums sofa now as we were told she shouldn't be left on her own unable to sleep. I am taking Mum home for Christmas but think I will just have to let things go with regard to where Mum goes as I fear for my own health. I would appreciate feedback and to hear from anyone else who has been through this situation.