THE TRUTH
I have dementia, it’s a terminal disease, I am slowly dying and disappearing right in front of my families eyes, bit by bit each and every day. They say a cure could be 10 to 20 years away from now, too late for me. I have dementia but I am not daft!! I lost my Father and wonderful grandmother to this awful disease so I know what my future holds. I wake each and every night, screaming and shouting, fighting enemies who are completely invisible to anybody else.
I hear my mum shout my name, I see and feel my dog (Shane) slide up to me on the settee, and I also have full conversations with my best friend Mark about how things are going! All three have been dead for years!! I’ve seen myself walk out of a lift whilst sitting facing in a cafe, and I have felt myself dying in bed trying to call my “Angel” Elaine’s name to tell her I love her before I do. I look into my children’s eyes and wonder who they are about to become, how they will manage, and who will stand guard over them all as I have done for so many years.
Even after all these years I still come across so called “Friends” who cross the road from me now rather than say hello because they think it might be contagious !! I have to be held by the hand at all times as I have lost all my road sense and would walk straight in front of a car in an instant!! I see the way people look at us when Elaine has to be a little sharp with me so I don’t get knocked down, Elaine sees it also, but what can she do?? I am not a child, and yet she looks after me as if I am, but that’s ok, if she didn’t I would get hurt!!
Most days I disappear into a world of my own. I used to say nothing bad ever happened in my world, now sometimes, it seems totally opposite. I want to scream and shout sometimes, but I know if I do, that people will look at me and think AWWWWW, must be his Dementia!!! The slightest thing that goes wrong and it’s the end of the world as far as I am concerned. Things I used to take in my stride are now totally devastating, and yet???
I smile, we smile, we all smile, through thick and thin we smile. We go out, into the big bad world, every day and try to make people understand why I, and others feel like this and why this disease makes you feel as if you are the loneliest person in the world, even though you are surrounded by love. Why do we smile and go out there every day? Because we are born to fight!! We are genetically made up to fend off all that is thrown at us and make the best of what we have!! Where we get the strength from? Nobody knows, but somehow, we get up in the mornings day after day and face head on whatever is thrown at us!!
WHY DO WE ALL DO THIS DAY AFTER DAY? (Just some more than others)
Because we have hope!! Because we hope one day all will be well or at least be a little better tomorrow than today and that is enough for us to hold onto. That little bit of hope is enough to feed our soul, help us breath, speak our words and have our voices heard, just that little bit of hope can do so much. So please my friends, whatever situation you are in, whatever your health may be like, please hold on tight to that little bit of hope, because, even something so small, that can’t be seen, touched, tasted, heard or smelt, can bring a little happiness to each and every heart in the world!!
All my love, Norrms and family xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I have dementia, it’s a terminal disease, I am slowly dying and disappearing right in front of my families eyes, bit by bit each and every day. They say a cure could be 10 to 20 years away from now, too late for me. I have dementia but I am not daft!! I lost my Father and wonderful grandmother to this awful disease so I know what my future holds. I wake each and every night, screaming and shouting, fighting enemies who are completely invisible to anybody else.
I hear my mum shout my name, I see and feel my dog (Shane) slide up to me on the settee, and I also have full conversations with my best friend Mark about how things are going! All three have been dead for years!! I’ve seen myself walk out of a lift whilst sitting facing in a cafe, and I have felt myself dying in bed trying to call my “Angel” Elaine’s name to tell her I love her before I do. I look into my children’s eyes and wonder who they are about to become, how they will manage, and who will stand guard over them all as I have done for so many years.
Even after all these years I still come across so called “Friends” who cross the road from me now rather than say hello because they think it might be contagious !! I have to be held by the hand at all times as I have lost all my road sense and would walk straight in front of a car in an instant!! I see the way people look at us when Elaine has to be a little sharp with me so I don’t get knocked down, Elaine sees it also, but what can she do?? I am not a child, and yet she looks after me as if I am, but that’s ok, if she didn’t I would get hurt!!
Most days I disappear into a world of my own. I used to say nothing bad ever happened in my world, now sometimes, it seems totally opposite. I want to scream and shout sometimes, but I know if I do, that people will look at me and think AWWWWW, must be his Dementia!!! The slightest thing that goes wrong and it’s the end of the world as far as I am concerned. Things I used to take in my stride are now totally devastating, and yet???
I smile, we smile, we all smile, through thick and thin we smile. We go out, into the big bad world, every day and try to make people understand why I, and others feel like this and why this disease makes you feel as if you are the loneliest person in the world, even though you are surrounded by love. Why do we smile and go out there every day? Because we are born to fight!! We are genetically made up to fend off all that is thrown at us and make the best of what we have!! Where we get the strength from? Nobody knows, but somehow, we get up in the mornings day after day and face head on whatever is thrown at us!!
WHY DO WE ALL DO THIS DAY AFTER DAY? (Just some more than others)
Because we have hope!! Because we hope one day all will be well or at least be a little better tomorrow than today and that is enough for us to hold onto. That little bit of hope is enough to feed our soul, help us breath, speak our words and have our voices heard, just that little bit of hope can do so much. So please my friends, whatever situation you are in, whatever your health may be like, please hold on tight to that little bit of hope, because, even something so small, that can’t be seen, touched, tasted, heard or smelt, can bring a little happiness to each and every heart in the world!!
All my love, Norrms and family xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
