So as some of you know mum is in end stage and is surprising everyone by how she is holding on. Up until a couple of months ago she was pretty much left in peace, bedridden, screaming when anyone moves her as she gets confused. So a couple of months ago the Dementia Outreach team became involved due to a doctor deciding that she needed stimulation and to be sitting up in the living room for an hour or so a day. (not my mum's usual GP). I can't see what the benefit is, she gets distressed when she is handled, always looks like a frightened rabbit when she is downstairs and always looks more peaceful when she is in her bed, with the TV on or the stereo. I've asked them not to take her down, she is less than four and a half stone and is just skin and bone, as I said the chairs they had were too big for her. No they insisted the chairs were fine, now I find out that they are bringing a new chair for her next week as the ones in the home are too big (I wonder why it's taken them so long to work that one out). I've asked to be informed when anyone visits my mum, but found out that the SALT team had been out due to her choking when swallowing (something that both me and the nurse at the home had not witnessed) sometimes she coughs a little bit, but now they don't want her to have a straw and want her to sip from a cup, I tried to give her some last night and it went everywhere. I was going to ring them both and give them a piece of my mind today, but decided I would go back and see her tomorrow and ask one of the carers to show me how they managed to get fluid into her. My gut feeling is that mum wouldn't want to be fussed with, she is so frail I am concerned that she could easily get bruised or her skin broken. But I keep being told that my mum needs a 'quality of life'. Maybe if they had been involved two years ago I could have understood it, but I just feel like they are doing it for themselves to look good and not for the benefit of my mum. Am I wrong in wanting to ring both the outreach team and the SALT team? According to my husband 'they know best'. They don't know my mum, they just see a dementia patient in bed, I just don't know what to do, I don't want to make it difficult for the home as they have been brilliant with mum, to be honest I think if she was still at the care home she went into originally she wouldn't be here. Suggestions would be appreciated.