Dementia Looks Like This

Discussion in 'I have dementia' started by aprilbday, Feb 2, 2016.

  1. aprilbday

    aprilbday Registered User

    Jan 27, 2016
    329
    Washington, DC USA
    Hummm. Today, I came home from work. Discovered that I had left something in my car. Took the elevator down to the garage and when I got there I was horrified. It was then when I saw it....Someone had literally thrown water all over my car! as I could see that the top, sides, and windows were wet with big drops of water. I was upset while thinking who would do such a thing! I looked at my daughters car a few feet away! Oh no! Hers too? I was sickened and felt afraid and then angry at how rude and unpredictable people can be these days. I was disheartened and sad. I have no enemies ...no pranksters in my life. I retrieved the item from my car while shaking slightly at the surprise and random attack and headed back to the elevator shaking my head while asking-"Who would do such a thing! Who and Why?" It really made me upset. No answer could come to me. If I had just known one insensitive person living nearby, they surely would have received the blame for this questionable act of meanness. I push the elevator to go back up to my apartment and finally remembered that on the way driving home from work it was raining cats and dogs! How could I forget that, and not make the association between the rain and the water drops once I saw them. Then I thought to myself.... this is what dementia looks like.
     
  2. shelagh

    shelagh Registered User

    Sep 28, 2009
    476
    Staffordshire
    Dementia looks like this - Kaleidescope.

    There are so many pictures of how dementia looks it is like shaking a Kaleidescope (forgotten how to spell it)
    Came back from a lovely weekend with my son and his family. Immediately in a panic because I had forgotten to pack my lap top connector and my Kindle and needed both. Searched everywhere . Husband searched and at once found connector still in easy view in my suitcase I later found my Kindle in my underwear drawer.
    This endless cycle of losing things I had in my hand a minute ago brings me to tears of frustration.
    BUT seeing the children was wonderful and I had a top up of hugs and cuddles - so I try and stay positive,
     
  3. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,490
    West Midlands
    Thank you for sharing. It's knowledge like this that helps to get as much info as we can to help in the right way

    That's coming across wrong, but I do hope you understand my thanks for your insight xx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  4. creativesarah

    creativesarah Registered User

    Thanks for sharing I have had a few very up and down days recently:eek:
     
  5. jhoward

    jhoward Registered User

    Aug 3, 2011
    183
    west sussex
    What a brilliant example. I've just been diagnosed and have various examples like that.
     
  6. aprilbday

    aprilbday Registered User

    Jan 27, 2016
    329
    Washington, DC USA
    Isn't it just mind blowing ...I guess literally. I was just taken back that it took so long to make that connection. I was driving in the pouring rain only a half hour earlier! To take so long to connect to that really takes me back a little. A little scary.
     
  7. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    10,561
    North West
    I can see why this is very upsetting for you April, but isn't it also the case that people who don't have dementia can make somewhat similar mistakes? And you did also remember, after quite a short interval, that it had rained.
     
  8. aprilbday

    aprilbday Registered User

    Jan 27, 2016
    329
    Washington, DC USA
    Hi Stanley
    Yes! It is wonderful to be able to eventually remember! Not always, but most of the time I can.... For now.
    I am so thankful for that. If you are so wonderfully suggesting that the memory delay is normal and that I do not have dementia then thank you!!!
    My primary doctor, neurologist , social worker and psychiatrist need to come to that conclusion and stop labeling me!
     
  9. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    10,561
    North West
    Thanks April. I can certainly say that I do have experiences rather like the ones you and shelag describe and I don't think I've got dementia. I can 'lose' things, then find them in a place where i have previously looked and then, almost immediately, lose them again.

    All I'm saying is, regardless of whether you do have a form of dementia or not, I'd try not to read too much into these things, puzzling and frustrating though they are.
     
  10. aprilbday

    aprilbday Registered User

    Jan 27, 2016
    329
    Washington, DC USA
    You are right too. Reading too much into memory issues can be maddening and not worth the thought. Unfortunately I still work as a public school teacher-one more year to be eligible for retirement! . (Almost for 30 years now-I have some cognitive issues that I did not always have!) I teach special needs students, and I have only 6 in my class. I have noticed that I can not remember their names. I know their names, of course, but when addressing them individually, I often need to cover up my inability to call them by their name. Very sad. I spend 6 hours everyday with them and still it's a challenge. I know their names. I know them, but often can't recall them. Remembering what day it is even though I just looked on the calendar -is something I do all through-out the day. I didn't use to have this issue. I am sorry that you are experiencing memory challenges. I am very happy that you do not have dementia. Showing up for work with your clothes on backwards or inside out -after you double and triple check for them to be right!- and saying "good morning" to the same people makes one look foolish and it's embarrassing. No fun. Humiliating, shameful, feels foolish and some things you can't even share.
     
  11. BillBRNC

    BillBRNC Registered User

    Jan 26, 2016
    40
    USA NC
    I got a new car about 7 months ago, and it has a back-up camera with a split screen to give two views so you won't hit something. It really is nice, and I've used in many times every day since I bought the car. Last week when a place, I saw the screen as usual, but this time I didn't recognize having ever seen the views before, so I thought something was broken. I spent about an hour with the car instructions and could not get the screen to return to the way it had always looked before, so I went to the dealer I had bought the car from for help. The guy got in my car, and he immediately said that the view that I thought was wrong is the only view that exists, and that it is the right one. I truly had no memory of having ever seen it before, even after 7 months of looking at it. I really felt stupid, let me tell you. But that's the way it is with us Alz types.
     
  12. Shrimp22

    Shrimp22 Registered User

    Feb 6, 2016
    1
    London
    Hello and good day to you.
    There is a whole lot of difference between forgetting things when you have dementia and just having a brain trump! What you said really belittles the struggles we, with dementia have, when forgetting things like April experienced. It is soul destroying not to have the basic logic or wherewithal of putting water and recent rain fall together. Comments such as you wrote are misleading and can make it harder for the dementia sufferer to explain their problems fully because a misconception has been voiced.
    I know you didn't mean to be offensive or misleading but do take care with what you say to us who struggle greatly in keeping our brain cells rubbing together! Thank you.
     
  13. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    10,561
    North West
    Sorry to have offended you Shrimp22. Welcome to Talking Point.
     
  14. aprilbday

    aprilbday Registered User

    Jan 27, 2016
    329
    Washington, DC USA
    Lol! You have to laugh! It keeps us feeling ok because this stuff is super scary!!!
     
  15. aprilbday

    aprilbday Registered User

    Jan 27, 2016
    329
    Washington, DC USA
    Thank you Shrimp22. I don't get too offended anymore because I figure I am confused and missed something or maybe contributed in some way to negativity. I just slowly am learning to keep quiet. It's better that way most times. If I'm quiet then I won't likely ask the same thing again or look too foolish and confused.
     
  16. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    10,561
    North West
    I can't think that anyone on TP would want you or anyone else living with dementia to keep quiet aprilbday. We are all trying to understand more and really value your input.
     
  17. gringo

    gringo Registered User

    Feb 1, 2012
    1,189
    UK.
    With respect Shrimp22, I think you have misinterpreted Stanley’s post. This is a very special forum, all members are dementia sufferers, or carers. No carer, on this forum, would ever belittle what a sufferer goes through. In most cases we are talking about much loved relatives here. Our sympathy and concern is all pervasive. But living so close to dementia, we tend to live in what may be termed a dementia bubble and think of little else. We are only too aware that we have no immunity. Any lapse of memory can be a source of concern. The generally accepted litmus test is whether one is subsequently aware of the lapse. I recall coming out of a supermarket and having no recollection at all of where I had parked my car. This ‘blackout’ lasted some 15 minutes, It was a frightening experience which has stayed with me and given me a small insight into my wife’s world. But the point is, I did eventually remember and was able to reassure myself. However, I know the possibility exists, that this could happen and I may not remember.
    I do hope I have not given offence, I assure you no disrespect is intended.
     
  18. LoisJean

    LoisJean Registered User

    Hello to all: I have vascular dementia. I stand with Aprilbday. While responding to ignorant remarks does nothing to change the nature of my dementia, it does impart an expression of a 'personal ownership' with the deficit (like it nor not, it's mine)...it is a kind of acceptance of something that can't be changed, and to have someone who says he doesn't think he has it, suggest that her experiences are like those with normal functioning brains, is ignorant at best. Out side of this forum I am not surprised at folks who say such things, but in here it seems quite out of place.

    I am truly grateful for all of you who share your very real difficulties and successes; your questions and concerns. You keep me grounded in sanity. You remind me that I'm not alone. Thank you and peace to all of us.
     
  19. jhoward

    jhoward Registered User

    Aug 3, 2011
    183
    west sussex
    I agree. I think the notion of dementia is scary, so one's friends and relations are inclined to play it down ("but I do that all the time..." sort of thing.) I suppose we can choose to go along with it for an easy life, or make a stand to help them "get" what's actually happening to us.
     
  20. Sue J

    Sue J Registered User

    Dec 9, 2009
    8,042
    I too stand with those sharing their experiences of their face of dementia. I have my own too, recently I booked, in advance - lest the appt should go - an online appt with my Drs. Nearer the time of the appointment I logged in to check the details, only to find that it had 'changed':confused:, I had the date and approximate time fixed in my mind but the appt on the screen was for the following day, well I had another appt that day so I 'knew' ;)I wouldn't book it for then - conclusion the surgery had changed it without telling me:(. I phoned up to ask them why, said Dr wasn't in on the day I 'had' booked but she was in on a suitable day - very diplomatic receptionist;). At visit to Dr I asked why had appt been changed, no explanation she never is in on that day of the week:eek:, oh no, they're plotting again!. What had I 'seen' on my screen that then registered in my brain? A week or so later I stumbled across an on screen calendar that I had 'forgotten' I had entered anything into completely it had been done several weeks before, what was on the calendar - yep, the 'correct' appointment that I had mis-scheduled i.e. on the same day as my other appointment - there was the evidence that the mistake was mine:eek:

    When my symptoms started I knew and still know that unless anyone experiences the ravages of this disease they cannot understand it, I would not wish them to but I applaud all of those on this site who do their utmost to try to and give support to those of us who struggle with it, whilst at the same time caring for their own loved one. I am upset that anyone should call stanleypj 'ignorant' or offensive, neither term belongs to the person I have got to know a little whilst writing on this forum. I hope many remain 'ignorant' of the experience of this disease but am grateful for their compassion, reassurance, support and valiant attempts to understand how the lives of sufferers are affected.

    Wishing a peaceful day to all sufferers and carers alike:)
     

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