Dementia- Leaving the front door open

Discussion in 'I have dementia' started by Norrms, Jan 12, 2015.

  1. Norrms

    Norrms Registered User

    Feb 19, 2009
    5,322
    Male
    Torquay Devon
    Dementia
    Leaving The Front Door Open

    Last night I left the front door of my mind open, and Lewy Body’s came walking straight in as if he owned the place. He is like a squatter who refuses to move out. Elaine says about an hour before I went to bed I had no understanding of what was going on or where I was. To be told this is soul sapping as I am completely helpless to stop my actions and to have no control over them is frightening beyond belief, but then things got much worse. I have often found myself stood in the front room, or bedroom, protecting my family from an unseen enemy to anybody else but they are very real and very present to me. Last night in the back of my mind I could hear my angel’s voice shouting Norrms! Norrms! Its ok, it’s ok! And a sentence that will haunt me forever as I heard her say.......

    “Please come back to me “

    At the very moment I returned to “real Time “ I was throwing the last punch into my pillow, hard and fast, and by the ache in my arm and the sweat on my brow it was quite obvious it had been happening for a couple of minute. I screamed one last time in frustration as I threw that last punch and fell into my loved ones arms, lost, confused and very frightened. It was only after a couple of minutes had passed did the awful truth dawn on me and I thought

    WHAT IF…………………………………….. ?

    OH MY GOD!!! Just the very thought made me shiver to the bone and I started to shake uncontrollably. For those of you who don't know me I abhor violence of any kind, to human or animals and if by chance I happen to see any kind of gratuitous violence on TV Etc. that is not a film but real life I have been known to be physically sick. So you can imagine what was, and still is going through my mind, I can’t even say it!! The most frightening thing is, according to Elaine this is not uncommon and thankfully up to now the only harm has come to my poor pillow, but still ??????????????

    I despise this illness, HATE is a very strong word and I have always been brought up to forgive and forget, but if Ever? EVER? Even Just ONCE??
    It doesn't bear thinking about. I am sorry if this post upsets anybody, but this is what this disease is really like, laid bare for all to see,


    “” Unless we, with dementia teach? How can others learn??””


    A very tired and weary Norrms, Elaine and family xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  2. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,725
    North Somerset
    Oh norms

    So sorry to read your post. Can you discuss your fears with your GP to see if there is anything that can help your feared violence. That fear must be making you very unhappy. Wish I had some suggestions to help you.

    Sent from my GT-N5110
     
  3. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,984
    Cotswolds
    A hug to you both...hoping tonight you'll be more at peace .Norrms...beastly disease....how dare it?
     
  4. Norrms

    Norrms Registered User

    Feb 19, 2009
    5,322
    Male
    Torquay Devon
    Thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  5. itsmeagain

    itsmeagain Registered User

    Oct 20, 2010
    95
    Sorry to hear it Norrms.
    That made me think, is there a medication that may cut out distressed, disturbed nights? Perhaps you can ask the GP.
     

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