DEMENTIA- IT’S THE ILLNESS, NOT THE PERSON
At home yesterday because of illness,, whilst all were at memory café, it gave me time to think about things, not often I get a little time alone with my thoughts, and yes there were plenty of tears as well as smiles. If my psychologist was sat with me I should think I would have been admitted by now but happily she wasn’t and I am here to tell the tale so to speak lol. Admittedly many bad things came to mind, the night terrors, the hallucinations, the acts of myself that’s totally out of character and the anguish an pain this disease has brought my loved ones.
I refuse to say it’s what I have brought on because it’s not, it’s the illness, never in a million years would I act sometimes as I do and this is something I want to concentrate on in this short blog. YES ! I feel responsible for everything I do and say, but I cannot and will not try to forget that it’s not really me saying these things and doing something’s sometimes which I would, in pre dementia life ever do, I only wish others would remember that too.
I write for and advise on many forums across the world and one of the most common threads appearing is, Why does HE/SHE do this, Is HE/SHE doing this on purpose? Do “THEY “ know what they are doing when they say/do these awful things?? And most of all, DO THEY DO THIS JUST TO WIND ME UP?? All of these things need to addressed can be quite simply with the answer of NO. If someone has a diagnoses of dementia and I have to stress the “ Have “ a diagnosis of dementia no matter what type (in my case Lewy Bodys), or we go into a very grey area of quite simply behaving badly and being downright rude. Once diagnosed, admittedly it’s like a ticking time bomb; nobody can tell you exactly what’s going to happen as everybody is so different. Some go really quiet, some get louder and louder (No comment lol ) some, sadly, become violent and more aggressive and some not, but the one thing I would advise is , well, two actually, is firstly >>>>>>
Cast your mind back before the dementia come along, would he / she have acted like this?? Would they have been so awkward, so loud, so “Shouty , if there is such a word, or so rude?? I am betting the answer is NO and so there is your answer, it’s the ILLNESS and not the person, so please please, as hard as it is, try to remember this.
The second thing to remember is nobody but nobody is going to knock on your door and tell you the truth about what can happen when someone has dementia, absolutely nobody, as believe it or not it’s stil,l even in this day and age, something that’s whispered about in certain countries. You!! yes YOU have to go out there and find all this out, no it’s not fair, and no its shouldn’t be that way but sadly it is, but as they say you wouldn’t go to war without knowing your enemy would you !! Which, is quite apt in this day and age.
I hope this piece has helped and always remember the Purple Angel campaign is always here to help you no matter where you are in the world, dementia knows no boundaries, then why should, we ??
Love to all,
Norrms 27th March, 2022
Diagnosed with dementia so long ago now I can’t quite remember when xxx
Please feel free to share
At home yesterday because of illness,, whilst all were at memory café, it gave me time to think about things, not often I get a little time alone with my thoughts, and yes there were plenty of tears as well as smiles. If my psychologist was sat with me I should think I would have been admitted by now but happily she wasn’t and I am here to tell the tale so to speak lol. Admittedly many bad things came to mind, the night terrors, the hallucinations, the acts of myself that’s totally out of character and the anguish an pain this disease has brought my loved ones.
I refuse to say it’s what I have brought on because it’s not, it’s the illness, never in a million years would I act sometimes as I do and this is something I want to concentrate on in this short blog. YES ! I feel responsible for everything I do and say, but I cannot and will not try to forget that it’s not really me saying these things and doing something’s sometimes which I would, in pre dementia life ever do, I only wish others would remember that too.
I write for and advise on many forums across the world and one of the most common threads appearing is, Why does HE/SHE do this, Is HE/SHE doing this on purpose? Do “THEY “ know what they are doing when they say/do these awful things?? And most of all, DO THEY DO THIS JUST TO WIND ME UP?? All of these things need to addressed can be quite simply with the answer of NO. If someone has a diagnoses of dementia and I have to stress the “ Have “ a diagnosis of dementia no matter what type (in my case Lewy Bodys), or we go into a very grey area of quite simply behaving badly and being downright rude. Once diagnosed, admittedly it’s like a ticking time bomb; nobody can tell you exactly what’s going to happen as everybody is so different. Some go really quiet, some get louder and louder (No comment lol ) some, sadly, become violent and more aggressive and some not, but the one thing I would advise is , well, two actually, is firstly >>>>>>
Cast your mind back before the dementia come along, would he / she have acted like this?? Would they have been so awkward, so loud, so “Shouty , if there is such a word, or so rude?? I am betting the answer is NO and so there is your answer, it’s the ILLNESS and not the person, so please please, as hard as it is, try to remember this.
The second thing to remember is nobody but nobody is going to knock on your door and tell you the truth about what can happen when someone has dementia, absolutely nobody, as believe it or not it’s stil,l even in this day and age, something that’s whispered about in certain countries. You!! yes YOU have to go out there and find all this out, no it’s not fair, and no its shouldn’t be that way but sadly it is, but as they say you wouldn’t go to war without knowing your enemy would you !! Which, is quite apt in this day and age.
I hope this piece has helped and always remember the Purple Angel campaign is always here to help you no matter where you are in the world, dementia knows no boundaries, then why should, we ??
Love to all,
Norrms 27th March, 2022
Diagnosed with dementia so long ago now I can’t quite remember when xxx
Please feel free to share
