I truly don't understand this subject matter. Why chose cancer to compare it with Dementia? There are many other illnesses and causes of deaths to relatives and friends that cause deep pain and suffering. Is it any wonder that so many people that suffer with Dementia are in denial? One has only to read of all hate and hurt caused to the carer at having to care for a relative. The parent they're looking after is not the same person, they have become strangers etc..
The saying: 'Better to have loved and lost, than that not to have loved at all', is so very true. When I was informed that my Father was dying and he wished to see me, I had to turn down his request as I was waiting for my family to join me at a new posting in the forces. I had never known the man. I briefly met him for the first time, after I tracked him down when I was seventeen. In my case it was a case of 'Never to have loved at all'. There was bitterness involved.
Personally, I can't write about a Mum or Dad with Dementia or for that matter any family member until I started my own family. When my wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's I viewed it in a different light than most people. It was one more of life's challenges to be confronted, and like most things in my life I managed in my own way.
The total lack of love or nurture in my first sixteen years gave me an appreciation of the meaning of love. The power that flowed from that saw me through the Alzheimer's years.
After my wife's passing cancer visited my family, firstly my son, with bowel cancer, then it way my turn with stomach cancer. There are good days and bad days. Do I let it get me down? No way, it's something new to learn about. What have I learned? It's still possible to go running most days even without a stomach when your coming up to 84. "Always look on the bright side of life".