Dementia has made me rethink my stance on Cancer

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Summerheather, Feb 22, 2015.

  1. honeybears

    honeybears Registered User

    Oct 18, 2014
    41
    Hampshire
    Someone told me the other day that a work colleague had cancer and how sad it was - I told them that they need to stay positive as there are many cures for all types of cancer these days and cancer is not the death sentence for a lot of people like it use to be unlike Dementia for which at present there is no cure.
    I don't mean that I would want anyone to be diagnosed with cancer but there is hope for a lot of cancer sufferers but not for my Mum who has Dementia - I know the outcome and as long and as slow as her condition may continue to change her, she will not have the opportunity to recover.
    I don't think society realises that Dementia is not curable and just think that someone with Dementia is simply someone who does not remember things - until you experience the illness yourself you do not realise that Dementia is a lot more than just being forgetful :(
     
  2. Cole_H

    Cole_H Registered User

    Oct 3, 2012
    40
    I have compared cancer to dementia many times, having gone through cancer with my father and caring for him so he could pass away at home, it was only a few months after his death that I then faced my mothers dementia.

    I am only in my 30's and have moments of total despair, how my life has utterly changed in the course of 3 years. I find myself frustrated, angry and at times so down that I wish I could vanish. But I would never want my mother to go through what my father did. It's been more a case that part of me is glad he isn't around to see the deterioration of my mum.

    Of course dementia is a horrible and cruel illness but my mother isn't suffering, not in that way. She is not witnessing or aware of her own deterioration but in some ways it's more difficult for me.

    When my father was ill at home a whole swat team of help came in, there was support and understanding. But with dementia I am left to get on with it, the support is minimal.

    When my father was in pain I could call a number at 3am, I don't have a number to call when my mum is behaving like she hates me, or shouts and yells at 3am.

    My mum didn't choose this illness and there isn't a choice to be had, but I did choose to take on the role of carer.
     
  3. Summerheather

    Summerheather Registered User

    Feb 22, 2015
    160
    Yesterday before I left for work there was a poo incident in the bathroom so 6.45am, I was on my hands and knees washing the floor, then after finishing work at 5pm,yesterday there was an incident with urine so 7.45 pm I was again on my hands and knees washing the floor.

    I didn't chose to become a carer, it just happened, because if I didn't do it, no one would and I love my Mum, however each day she becomes less than my Mum and that just kills me.
     

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